Things You Just Don’t say at a Funeral— Even if you Are a Professional Mourner

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Professional mourners have played a part in funeral ceremonies for thousands of years. In many countries, tradition dictates that the family of the dead, especially children and grandchildren, must express their grief in a very outward manner. Not crying enough or at sufficient decibel levels would be seen as a lack of filial piety so people started hiring professional mourners to ensure a noisy and very passionate farewell.

Victorian times, professional mourners called mutes were hired and walked behind the hearse. They wore black and deployed a suitably miserable expression despite the fact that they had never even met the deceased or the family. In those days funerals were very elaborate affairs and there was a very strict etiquette in place that gave rules for everything from the colors of mourning dress to mourning timelines that had to be observed. Victorian mourning practices spread throughout Europe and professional mourners began to band together, even going on strike for higher wages. As motorized hearses were introduced into the funeral procession, professional mourners began to be phased out of the ceremony.

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While professional mourners have gone out of style in western countries, professional rejoicers might be a suitable replacement to think about for the future. Paying someone to initiate a hearty chuckle at a viewing would be well worth the money because laughter is much more encouraging than tears and helps just as much in the grieving process.

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Sometimes you just have to laugh to help get you through it ..

1-An elderly friend was cremated and I went to the services to pay my respects. As I inched my way up to the wooden box that held the departed ashes I heard an elderly man say as he glanced at the wooden box.
“You know looking at her now she was a lot smaller than I remembered”.

2-I don’t want anyone asking at my funeral where the fire extinguisher is. I’ve often asked to be buried with one to fight off the hell fires.

3-“He died doing what he loved to do” said one minster of the the deceased who died of a drug overdose. My jaw dropped to the floor.

4-“Why is Grampy in a box?” I once asked. Someone said,“We are packing him up and mailing him to heaven. This is his good bye party”.

5-I went to a funeral for a coworker a couple of years back. As the service progressed the minister said we would hear a song, I swear “I found my Thrill on Blueberry Hill” began to play. I had to bend over to get myself under control. The final hymn was Elvis singing: “I’ll have a Blue Christmas Without You.” On that note I had to get up and leave I was giggling so hard.

Our Haunted Heritage Event Page- but tickets soon! October 15th

St James Cemtery Ghost Walk Event Page- October 28th

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Old Wives Tales of Death — Our Haunted Heritage

Funerals With Dignity in Carleton Place – Just a Surrey with a Fringe on Top —- Our Haunted Heritage

Death by Corset? Bring Out Your Dead and Other Notions! Our Haunted Heritage

About lindaseccaspina

Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda was a fashion designer, and then owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa on Rideau Street from 1976-1996. She also did clothing for various media and worked on “You Can’t do that on Television”. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off on American media she finally found her calling. She is a weekly columnist for the Sherbrooke Record and documents history every single day and has over 6500 blogs about Lanark County and Ottawa and an enormous weekly readership. Linda has published six books and is in her 4th year as a town councillor for Carleton Place. She believes in community and promoting business owners because she believes she can, so she does.

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