The Tale of the Valentine Love Spud

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Photo of Appleton  by Linda Seccaspina

Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, and John had no idea what to give his lovely wife Lily as a gift. He thought how handy a dust buster might be and figured that maybe he should read up on what Brad Pitt was giving Angelina Jolie and buy a cheaper version. Last year he had bought a $19.99 perfume special at Shoppers Drugmart called Desperate Housewives and that hadn’t gone over too well.

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Photo by Linda Seccaspina

Watching Daniel Alfredsson play the hockey God that he is on television he continued to wrack his brain and ruled out a new ironing board cover or AA batteries for her power tools. What about a new set of snow tires he thought quietly to himself? That could be practical, and much better than the box of chocolates he had found in the street that afternoon. The box still had a ribbon attached to it and was unopened. Sad to say it looked like it had been driven over a few times and John figured it had probably been run over by a woman who received a pair of snow tires as a gift.

When they first began dating he had found a stone shaped like a heart near Mississippi Lake. He had cleaned it carefully, dated it on the back, and had written “I Love You”. That particular gift had gone over well and suddenly he had an idea. The next night before Lily came home John set the table and placed a huge bucket of KFC on the table to share. He came out of the kitchen with a plate in his hand and lovingly told her to sit down. He looked at her with tears in his eyes and said in a hushed voice,

“Lily I love you, and I just want to give you a piece of my heart for Valentine’s Day.”

Photo by Linda Seccaspina

Lily looked down and gazed at the plate and knew that John would always be her sweetheart. There lay on the dish a baked sweet potatoe shaped like a heart. He would always be her first, her last, her everything.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Dedicated to Steve

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About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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