Winner Joe Banks
Almonte has a new reigning Mr Mississippi. And believe it or not, it’s our own Gazette editor, Joe Banks, (who?) was crowned (With 14 real carrots) Mr Mississippi 1982 last Thursday night.
A total of five contestants entered the prestigious event with a panel of five female judges rendering the final verdict. Mr Banks faced stiff competition from Hank Hallas of the Lions Club (Mr Lion), Dave McFadden, Almonte Jr Farmers, Arthur Katon, Clayton Pagan Baseball Association, and Vince Carroll Lanark Jr Farmers. The contestants were escorted on stage by the Almonte beach lovely lifeguards, Susan Renwick, Monique Polis, and Teresa Dunn.
The audience broke into hysterical laughter as the contestants displayed themselves for the first time and answered an impromptu question prepared especially for them. The coolest contestant was Arthur Katon who didn’t even sweat during any of the tasks he was asked to perform. During the introduction and impromptu question Mr Katon sent greetings to his mother and to friends in Australia. When he was told the event wouldn’t be seen in Australia because Channel 12 Cablevision couldn’t broadcast that far, he took his greetings back.
The five gentlemen (?) had to give a small showing of talent, and were judged in swimwear, night attire, and a vote was taken among them for the Mr. Congeniality Award. Joe Banks and Dave McFadden tied for the honor. The best cheering section went to the Jr farmers who received a huge bag of Hershey candy-coated chocolates.
During the talent show, Joe Banks did impersonations of Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, Miss Piggy, Peter Lorre and Elvis Presley. He received warm applause from the audience and won the prize for the talent contest. Hank Hallas did his impersonation of a whistling top hat. What is a whistling top hat you ask? Well, that is where someone puts a giant top hat over the upper part of his body, paints a set of eyes on their stomach and a mouth over their bellybutton and puts a suit jacket on Irom the waist down. They then proceed to stick their stomach in and out to the music of Bridge on the River Kwai. What a sho
Mr Cool, Arthur Katon displayed his talent of beating a member of the audience in a walking race. Very strange. The Jr Farmers, Dave McFadden and Vince Carroll told a variety of jokes (mainly groaners) together; no comment. Hank Hallas won the “ best legs” competition and received the “ best legs” award donated by Bywater pottery. It consisted of a cup supported by two thin hairy legs cast in pottery.
The five judges, Debbie Parry, Janet Duncan, Julia Thomas, Jan Pettes and Marge Gaw took their time in making a decision but it was with great pleasure that mistress of ceremonies Ann Schweiller announced the winners of the individual competitions.
The winners were; swimwear, Arthur Katon, night attire, Hank Hallas, talent, Joe Banks, impromptu question, Hank Hallas, and of course the moment “ we’ve all been waiting for, Joe Banks, Mr Almonte Gazette. Whoop-pee. As the judges were making their decision, Mr Mississippi 1981, Colin Fyfe gave a speech on the duties of Mr Mississippi and some of the people who had contacted him throughout the year.
They included the president of the Liberal party of Canada who asked Colin to be the new prime minister. Colin (said he told the man) he had no knowledge of how to run a country. The party president said it didn’t matter. One of the questions Colin was asked was if he was ACDC. He said, “ no he wasn’t the party trying to build a senior citizens building in Almonte!” When the big moment arrived Colin crowned Joe with 14 real carrots and gave him a beautiful bouquet of goldenrods. Other prizes included a toilet scat in which to frame a picture of himself, a Mr Mississippi 1982 official T-shirt, and a one year free pass to all the Centennial Choir practices. The event was organized by the Elizabeth Kelly Library board to raise funds for a new display case. Organ music was supplied by Brent McLaren and interlude music was performed by Mark DeLarge. The contest was seen on Channel 12 on August 9 at 7 pm
August 4 1982