The Royal Mike Drop…… The Oprah Interview

The Royal Mike Drop…… Linda Knight Seccaspina

Prince Phillip was once quoted “that when a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife”. My very proper British grandmother Mary Louise Deller Knight was never a fan of his, but one thing she definitely was– was a top fan of the British family. So was my Grandfather who listened religiously at noon each day to the BBC News. If anything came on about the Royal family Mary was quickly summoned from her lunch preparations to sit with him listening to details. After that great discussion was had over lunch about what was going on with the Royal family. 

For years I wondered why we had such close knit conversations about the Royal Family and one day, when she felt I was old enough my Grandmother told me. The story stemmed back to my Grandfather’s side living back in London, England. His father was a music publisher and ran British music halls and his Grandfather Henry was a barrister. Henry had a sister that was what Grampy called “worse than Princess Margaret”. 

Louisa was actually a lady in waiting for Queen Victoria and it seemed she was doing more than waiting on hand and foot. In my Grandmother’s terse diction she was said to have “loose skirts”. For years I imagined her wearing baggy skirts until one day while drinking a cuppa tea I figured it all out, and then proceeded to choke with laughter.

Sad to say Louisa was banished from court, but I wish to tell you just in case you are concerned at all that she ended up marrying quite well. Louisa married a Duke of Essex and her descendants down the line owned the trucking company that hauled the milk for the Nestle Pudding Company. It goes to show you that the proof is always in the pudding as there definitely is no instant pudding stories in my ancestry.

After Harry and Meghan’s vs The Royal Family presentation this week I have been wondering to myself what my grandparents would have thought about it. I know that my Grandmother would not have put up with it as— if you were raised in a British family: it’s a stiff upper lip even if they chop your head off. My Grandfather would have taken a quick trip to the basement, and had a drop of sherry totally mortified. He would have looked at my grandmother and said, “Well, they mucked that one up Mary.”

I honestly don’t think they would have understood today’s modern royalty. They also would not have been amused to see their own granddaughter frequently wearing tiaras to the grocery store or for council meetings. A phone call would have been immediate to their granddaughter also writing about the history of  ‘taking sexy back’ with Brothel Bertie. My grandparents had a hard enough time with me liking the Beatles let alone write about King Edward the VII who was secretly called “The Prince of Pleasure”. His royal highness routinely gave his mother Queen Victoria, a royal headache with his frequent trips to the Parisian brothels. They say he literally killed his father when dear old Dad found out what a “luster buster” he was. On May 22, 2012  the Queen’s used underwear sold for over $18,000 on EBay with a shipping price of $59.95. I couldn’t take that story to my grave either could I?

Honestly, there’s nothing to really say except WHEW that my Grandparents were not alive to see this. They would not have looked at it the way I did. I understand it’s tough being a royal, but I could also vision Netflix taking notes for season 10 of The Crown. 

Did someone have to explain to the Queen who Tyler Perry was?

Is the Queen going to be on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk by next Wednesday?

For some out there the tea has most definitely been spilled now and honestly, I hope Meghan plays herself in the final series of The Crown. For all those expecting babies out there a new gender theme that Harry and Meghan unlocked: Oprah Interview!!! Oprah Interview!!! 

God Save the Queen!

Author’s Note: I love to write funny articles but there is a serious side to me too. If you like Meghan, and a lot of others need help- this is no joking matter especially to me. Please call Lanark County Mental Health

I am a Freegan! The Big Ideas of Freeganism

Freegans are dumpster divers who rescue furniture, clothes, household items and even food cast off by others. Freegans aren’t homeless; in fact, most could easily afford to buy their own food. They’ve instead chosen to live what they believe is an ethical, unadulterated lifestyle and disassociate themselves from capitalism and consumerism.The word freegan is a combination of “free” — as in it’s free because you found it in a dumpster.” – How Stuff Works

 

As I glance at my latest free furniture find that needs a lot of work I smile. Who knew that years down the road the former “Ms. Shop Till You Drop” would try to follow a “semi” Freegan lifestyle.

I had no idea what I had grown into, or what I was, until Oprah did a one hour show on the subject of Freeganism. I saw a lot of people like myself employing anti-consumerist lifestyles as a way of life. We are called Freegans and use a stew of various ideas to create things, as we feel our society wastes too much money.

I have not dumpster dived for food because I draw the line somewhere and do not think my menopausal body could climb over one of those dumpsters these days, even with a step stool . Years ago in the 90’s when I was young and limber I did a few late evening ‘ bin dives” in Cleveland, Ohio for Food Not Bombs. Scavenging for bread stuff wasn’t bad and rescuing the dented canned goods and packaged broken cookies were easy achievements, but greasy food was and will forever be a one time thing for me.

Pulling into the back of Colonel Sanders that night I smelled what my future held for the next thirty minutes. Greasy cold chicken, fries, a sea of coleslaw and runny potatoe salad. If you can picture it in your mind just escalate the horror of it all by ten fold. I have never in my life wanted to run away out of “food fear” like I did that night .

My motto is “Waste not  Want Not” these days. Once upon a time I used to own two rooms of clothes, fourty three pairs of shoes and sixty seven bras. What does one do with sixty seven Victoria’s Secret bras? Not one heck of a lot except take up space in drawers and hope the elastic does not give out from age.

Here are some other thing I have rescued for free or bought from thrift shops– and with a few grandiose ideas have turned them into home.

The oil painting  on the back wall under the faux curtain was free. The 20 dollar couch I covered in burgundy tapestry, and added lots of throw pillows from a local thrift shop. Victorian tea table was 15 dollars and I later found  a  heavy marble table topper that was the same size of the top of the tea table.  It was free, but my backache from carrying was not.

The Walter/ Margaret Keane Big Eyed Pictures from the 60’s. Easel picture holders made from cutlery. All bought from local thrift shops.

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The 1950’s Cuba Poster, tall floral vintage Rice Holder (sells for 45.00 on Ebay) and the Vertigo Shadowbox of movie posters,  ticket stubs etc. from Hitchcock’s film Vertigo. All found for free.

The fake expensive plants that are everywhere were left out in the hall when someone moved. Yes, that is my “hatch” on the second floor ceiling. (40 ft high ceiling). You open it up to get air and wait for maybe John Lockefrom the old TV show Lost to climb down and tell you to keep punching those numbers into the computer to save the world.

Thierry Mugler fashion illustrations (numbered) from the 1984 Spring Collection. I got these from an auction and four frames prints were $32.00. They even have pencil notations for which model they were going to use for each design. Heavy plastic background grates bought from a local salvage place, and I hang my pots on the same grates too.

The Clown body vertical cupboard was thrown away as it no longer had a head. I bought a film reel clock for $2.50 at a garage sale and created a head.

My kitchen table/desk that was a former glass-topped pharmaceutical table 52 inches long by 35 inches wide and weighs a ton.  I purchased it for pennies and pushed it home by myself for 25 blocks.

Today our society and especially the younger generations lives with the ‘must-haves” these days- when all you have to do is open your heart and eyes- and with a few ideas you too can live cheaply off the urban land.

Me and Randy Pausch — Remembering The Last Lecture – Zoomers

 

Me and Randy Pausch — Remembering The Last Lecture – Zoomers.