Tag Archives: moving to canada

Americans? Moving to the Land of the Flee?




How to “move to Canada” Google searches have skyrocketed since Donald Trump’s Super Tuesday performance yesterday. Media has also reported that the Canadian Government’s website was experiencing technical difficulties around the time of the search spike, though it is not known whether the two incidents were connected.

Did I also mention that Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz threatened to move back to Canada in the event he is elected President of the United States?

“America’s voters are telling us they want an outsider as president. Therefore, if I am elected as your president I will move to Canada to be as outside as I can get,” said Cruz.

This Presidential race has become a side show circus and I have never witnessed such a shabby list of political candidates running for President. In all the debates and news media attention, all I’ve heard is how much each of them can bash each other or run each other down. Really?

The American population is sucking it up like hungry babies drinking warm milk, and the news media dutifully reports every whimper and word with flashing banners and glaring headlines. Personally, I’d rather vote for my neighbour’s cat as the next President instead of any of the candidates I see running. Did I mention he is a Siamese cat too?

People need a reality check before burning bridges. As I have stated before--you cannot simply “move to Canada” or pretty much any first world country, because these countries have much more stringent immigration requirements. This means you need to have a REAL job offer or proof of income and assets that would be sufficient to keep you off any kind of social services that country provides for its citizens.


Now CNN has dispatched a crew to Cape Breton in Canada to find out what the island has to offer Americans considering leaving the United States if Donald Trump wins the presidency. Hell of a time to invite someone–right in March with spring break and all. Why not build a direct tunnel from Mexico to Canada? We can even have way stations with Starbucks and Ben And Jerry’s along the way. Cape Breton is a wonderful place. Scenery beautiful, people great–just one recommendation – Glenora Whisky needs to lower its price a wee bit so we could enjoy more of it.

Are these protesting Americans serious? Last night one of my American friends emailed me saying he passed the online practice test on Canadian Citizenship. He says he doesn’t own any guns and knows when to insert an extra “u” into words. He mentioned his great-grandparents immigrated from Canada and wonders if there is a there a “Law of Return” that he might qualify under? He told me to mention he also plays hockey and is a hell of a goalie.

If Trump becomes president Americans are more than welcome to try to come to Canada. I have a little extra room in my garage and there is poutine for all. Do you really want to immigrate to Canada? Join an NHL team, like the rest of them:)

Related Reading:

So You Want to Move to Canada Eh? — Written at the Carleton Place Tim Horton’s

Sorry, Canada isn’t Accepting American Refugees!


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A few years ago I wrote a story about what Americans might expect if they moved to Canada when Obama won the election. Today, U.S. President Barack Obama said he would veto a Republican bill that would slow the process of bringing Syrian refugees into the country. Guess what? Our neighbours to the south of us are whispering about ROOTS parkas once again.

Whether threatening to move to Canada is meant to punish the U.S. or Canada is unclear, but it is a refrain Canadians have heard before. Actually, I am still dusting off a room waiting for the influx that said they’d move here if gay marriage was allowed in the US–even though gay marriage has been legal here for more than a decade!

If our southern neighbours bothered to read the news from outside their country — they’d know that Canada has also accepted Syrian refugees. So coming here isn’t going to make much difference, besides, you have to be pretty dense if you think you can just waltz across the border and settle here. Is it just me or does anybody else realize that they too would become refugees?

Has anyone broke the news of our gun laws to the American’s yet? Should we line the borders and beat them back with our health cards, or use the polar bears from our backyards?

Did you know 1 in every 100 adult Americans are in prison right now, and 1 in 3 have a criminal record. Americans kill more Americans each year in their own country than any terrorist in the same. Would we ever know if a gun nut might come across the border disguising themselves as a normal American?  Is it just me or is beginning to feel like the Alamo?

Honestly, the price of cigarettes alone will keep those folks down south–never mind our gun laws or single payer health care. My point is this – we are a nation of immigrants, and no matter how hard some of us complain if we are to defeat terrorism, we must take the high road.  Even at some risk, we must show the world our love and compassion, not our hatred and fear

So to the Americans that are quickly approaching the border—sorry all full up. Please feel free to apply somewhere else–try Mexico or Alaska. Genius has its limits but stupidity has none.

By the way– anyone from Florida or California coming? I will trade you homes for the winter!