Tag Archives: God

One of Us– Memories of Bill Bagg

Standard

 

18119593_10154843281671886_1276662503210703851_n.jpg

Photo- Linda Seccaspina

Today I looked at the lamp I bought from Bill Bagg when he lived in the Brown house on Mill Street and let out a loud sigh. It was very fitting that my late husband’s photo was under it as they shared the same health struggles for their last few years. They might have been as different as night and day but in the end their pain and frustration was the same.

I’m not going to write about his life and family as you can get all that in the newspaper-but, what I am going to write about is how Bill and I walked through the last days of my late husband’s life. You never argued with Bill ever, especially about three things, well maybe 4: local politics, history, his old dog Tick, and most importantly God.

I could understand his frustrations about his dog being picked up, put to sleep, and sent to the dog food company in Smiths Falls in the 80’s. Yes, everyone knows my frustrations with local politics, so I wasn’t going to question that– but it was the God thing that baffled me. How anyone, especially Bill Bagg, could have such a direct line to God made me scratch my head sometimes, but I never doubted it–ever.

My husband Angelo and Bill both discovered they had colon cancer at the same time and today I feel like I am reliving Angelo’s death over again. When Bill was going through something so was Angelo, and I knew how they felt because if one told me then I knew how the other one was.

There were two differences though: Bill had an operation to remove a tumour and Angelo did not because of a fear from a past experience. Angelo died February 8, 2014 and Bill died on Tuesday night– almost a 3 year span. I knew Bill would have better luck not only because of the operation– but because he seemed to have this one on one with God. Was it because of that large pendant he constantly wore– or was it something I just didn’t know? I remember the first time Bill and I discussed cancer like it was yesterday.

 

 

551385_10201520633632115_948902259_n.jpg

Photo of Bill Bagg–Amanda Todd-Peters and  Peggy Powell

 

 

*”Pushing the large church doors open at St. James I felt rivers of emotions fill my inner soul. I shouldn’t be here I thought to myself, as I knew I was setting myself up. I sat in one of the pews, stared at the stained glass windows, and tried to hold back my tears. People were going to wonder why I was back in town so soon and I had yet to tell anyone what was really going on. For days I had spoken of family emergencies and real estate deals to those that asked, but I kept the truth inside my heart. I knew he didn’t want the whole world to know his deadly secret, and I respected that.


I glanced through the hymn book and was thankful it wasn’t Sunday. Organ music would be attempting to pull more tears out of me than what I was presently trying to hide. Not wanting anyone to see the distress I was in I kept to myself and looked at no one. I knew the time was coming when I would have to release the inner sadness, but I just didn’t want it to be today.


As people came in they stared at me and I had a feeling some knew my secret but were too kind to ask. Time seemed to move by at a snail’s pace and I kept lowering my head so no one would see my tear-stained face. Taking deep breaths didn’t help and I wanted to sob for a very long time. When I finally pulled myself together it was time to meet and greet. *Bill looked at me point blank  and asked why I was back. The world began to spin and I could no longer hold it in and I looked at him and said quietly.

“Ange has stage 4 colon cancer.”


He put his arms around me as I cried and said:


“You’ve come to the right place I’ve got cancer too!”


For months he tried to get Angelo to talk to someone of a higher power but my husband was having none of it. Bill kept saying if he just talked to God his suffering would be lighter. In Ange’s mind he thought going to church wasn’t going to help him anymore than standing in a garage made you a car. Having been raised with a tough religious Italian Mother kind of muddled his thoughts about God, and anyways you didn’t argue with him, just like you didn’t argue with Bill.

But Bill never gave up on Angelo and he kept telling me God was ready to hear his voice. Angelo never did have that talk with God until the last two days he was alive. A former tenant sent a rosary to him and when he saw it he clasped it like it was a piece of gold. I had never in my whole life seen him do something like that. I knew he was scared and felt lost and by clutching that rosary he felt that God knew where he was. One hour before he died he asked for a priest to come to the house — but it never happened.

Was it a little too late? It wasn’t in Bill’s mind and he said,  “In God’s eyes, you are never too far gone in any situation.” 

I saw Bill at Walmart a few weeks ago and I knew he didn’t have much time left. I recognized the red jacket, the grey hair, and that voice, but nothing else reminded me of him. Hunched over pushing a shopping cart I felt the pain of his every step. A million memories flashed through my mind of how he used to be and no longer was.

It’s crazy that someone who used to be part of your life is no longer here– and he gave me so much to remember him by. The trouble is you think you have time and you don’t, as Angelo finally realized those last few days. If you look up to the sky today and hear a rumble just smile as you know God now has his hands full. Bill is probably directing heavenly traffic along with Angelo.  It has now become one hell of a heaven and as Bill would say:

“God Bless Ya!”

 

“Bill had a deep love of God but his God was not the one in stained glass windows.  He saw God as omnipresent, in everything and everywhere.  We argued constantly about theology but when I listened closely I usually found we were saying the same thing.  We just loved to argue with each other!  He had a heart as big as the moon and I will miss him terribly. Requiem in peace Bill, until we meet again.”The Rev’d. Canon David Andrew but as we know him our beloved Father D.

 

  • *From my book Cancer Calls Collect– Bill was referred to as a woman in the book as I did not want to name names in such a personal recount.

 

historicalnotes

The first time I met Bill Bagg was in the Carleton Place Library at a Carleton Place Historical meeting. Was it 1981 or 1982? Anyways, he recognized me as he was a writer with the Ottawa Journal and was quite familiar with my eclectic Ottawa store.

 

He came over to me and said,

 

“You didn’t move here did you?

 

“You know they are going to run you out of town when they find out right?”

 

And with that he let out of one of his big “from the belly laughs” and looked at me and said,

 

“God Love Ya” and proceeded to tell anyone who would listen what “a den of sin” I ran in Ottawa.
And so was my first encounter with Bill Bagg

Related reading

 

Before and After with Bill Bagg and the Mississippi Gorge

Angelo Michael Seccaspina – Obituary

 

 

18156624_10207245081964083_1795889766262583882_o

BAGG, Carden William– By Carden Bagg

A legend in his own mind, Bill Bagg of Carleton Place died on April 25th, 2017. Born in Barrie, ON on the Ides of March in 1945 while his father was fighting in WWII, Carden William Bagg grew up with his sister Gini in Cornwall. His parents, Alec and Judy fought often and with an intensity that fuelled Bill’s fiery love of family. After settling in Ottawa as a young man, Bill travelled to the Arctic, worked as a surveyor, sold insurance, and was a country manager for the Ottawa Journal. Early on, he developed a love of antiques and Canadiana and was a proud founder of the Bytown Bottle Club. He met Kathleen at a party while on a date with another girl. They married, had four children, built a cottage on Carson Lake and moved to Carleton Place where they began Mill House Antiques. In spite of a divorce and several long-term partners, Kathleen was “the love of his life,” something he never let her forget. Bill remained in Carleton Place and became part of the fabric of the town. He knew its history and would expound upon it at will. He proudly served on town council and was a fixture at St. James Anglican Church. His reputation as an antique dealer reached well beyond Lanark County, in part due to his unforgettably crammed shop Mississippi Gorge Antiques as well as the years he spent Sundays at his booth at the Stittsville Flea Market. More than that, he left an impression on every person he met. He was a story-teller at heart and somehow drew out personal histories from even the most reticent bystanders. Larger than life, charming, quick-witted, quirky, sentimental, loyal, outspoken, Bill was a showman who loved fully and freely and lived to make people smile. His greatest pride were his children Kelly (Martin), Shannon (Jim), Carden (Rachelle), and Victoria (Ryan) and his greatest joy were his grandchildren Alex, Andrew, Simon, Grace, Eve, James, Virginia, Marianne, Gail, Cecilia, Annie, Greta, Nate, and Sammy. He was a friend to many souls over the years and a father figure to Michael and Brian. Bill spent his final days surrounded by his family, exactly where he would want to be, across from the nurses’ station at the Carleton Place Hospital, just a few blocks away from his house. Thank you, in particular, to Dr. Maria, Lindsey, Pam, Sarah, Elizabeth, and Rebecca for the outstanding care of our father. He often talked about what we should do when he got on the spaceship. We’ll do just that. Tha-a-a-nks for the memories, Dad. Thank you very mu-u-u-ch.

Friends and family are welcome to celebrate Bill in the hall at St. James Anglican Church (225 Edmund Street, Carleton Place) on Monday, May 1st from 5-7pm. A funeral service will be held at 7:00pm.

 

 



 

Does God Live In Berkeley California?

Standard

From the upcoming book  Grimm Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeee- out sometime in the spring or early summer if I can get my brain together.

 

 

When Emileeeeee was depressed she rode the number 88 bus. She rode it to the east, she rode it to the west, because it was always the solution.  Watching the passing scenery seemed to be just the prescription that cured the dark and cloudy days Emileeeeee seemed to conjure up for herself.

One gloomy day Emileeeeee jumped on the bus and there sitting across her was a physically challenged woman. She was about 36, partially blind and had a club foot. This woman seemed to go out of her way to be pleasant to everyone and didn’t feel sorry for herself  like Emileeeeee did.

 

She looked at Emileeeeee and said,

 

“Hello “Miss Girl”, you are a sad looking girl indeed, but do smile for me.” she said. “My name is Mini.”

 

Mini plopped herself down on the seat next to Emileeeeee and began talking to no one in particular. She asked the bus driver her name who then quickly responded that she was called Priscilla. Comfortable with a first name, Mini began talking in a loud booming southern voice.

 

“Miss Priscilla, I don’t have a care keeper anymore.”

“I noticed that Mini, where is she?” asked Priscilla

“Miss Priscilla, my mother has forced me have home care off and on since 1995, and you wouldn’t believe half of what I would tell you. You would say, ‘NAAA HAAAAAAAAA!’ My Mama and Mr. Jimmy says I’m too nice to people. But Mr. Jimmy has hired these strange home care workers and I think they are in cahoots. I’m a nice person but I won’t be taken advantage of any longer No sirree, not anymore!”

 

Emileeeeee looked at her with sad eyes and nodded her head as Mini continued.

“God is the only judgment in my life. What goes up must come down like a helium balloon and if Mr. Jimmy keeps up; he is going to go down like a busted balloon. I never heard the doctor tell my Mama that I was legally blind, but I can still move around and if I don’t step in mud one day, then it’s a good day.” 

 

 

“Well, your Mama just cares about you darlin’ said Priscilla, the bus driver.

Yes, Emileeeeee nodded; her mama cared for her just like the bus driver and  Emileeeeee began to care  too.

Mini began getting a little heated and blurted out,

 

“I don’t despair my Mama, but she has faith the size of a mustard seed. If I can cross that street to go to the corner store and not get hit by a car nor mugged by those young thugs then it’s another good day. If I can’t do something then I am going to give it one heck of a try. When you stop this bus- if I fall down and bump my head, I’m just going to rub it and keep on going.”

 

Yes, Emileeeeee nodded, just keep on going and that  is what she should do. Forget all the bumps and all those imaginary things inside her head.

At this point, Mini noticed that the passengers were listening to her every word. She began to get nervous and twirl her “Bad Boy Bail Bonds” key lanyard around her neck.

“Miss Priscilla, where were you born?” asked Mini.

“I was born in Alabama, darlin’,” said Priscilla.

“Well, I was born in San Francisco,” said Mini, and she began speaking loudly.

“You see I’m crazy, because I was born there,” she laughed. “Everyone thinks people from San Francisco are crazy so I moved across the Bay to Berkeley to find God.”

Emileeeeee scratched her head. She didn’t know that God had moved to Berkeley or she would have done the ‘drop in’ with some freshly baked cookies. She silently wondered; where in Berkeley was God living?

Emileeeeee had always thought the hippies had it all right when they revolted against Governor Reagan over People’s Park in the ‘60s. Was God living in People’s Park then? Was He at the Amoeba record store every week buying records, thought Emileeeeee to herself. Or was He begging for change on the street with three dogs on a leash? Had she missed Him somewhere?

Surely God didn’t have a vendor’s table on Telegraph Avenue selling tie dye clothing. Do other people know He lives here? Emileeeeee wondered if He had marched along side with her during one of those anti-war rallies. She secretly knew what Mini really meant, but it was interesting to wonder what God would do if He lived in Berkeley. After all, it is a haven of peace.

Mini was still babbling on, telling the bus driver how she used to go the YMCA in the summer when she was young and how she loved the trampoline. She couldn’t jump because of her foot but she would sit there while the others jumped and pretended she was flying.

“I just sat there and closed my eyes and I was flying Miss Priscilla. I was flyinggggggggggggggg in the blue sky.”

Emileeeeee imagined Mini flying into the air as she closed her eyes. Suddenly Emileeeeee was also flying with Mini into the clouds. There was only sunshine and smiles, and the gloom and doom became non existent.

 

After that very day, when Mini flew into her heart,  Emileeeeee worried no more and feeling sorry for herself was no longer an option. For months she looked for Mini on the 88 bus. She looked far and she looked wide, but she no longer saw her and Emileeeeee wondered aloud,

 

“Maybe that WAS God. Was God really on the 88 bus that day?”

 

Maybe He was, thought Emileeeeee and she smiled broadly.  Maybe God really did live in Berkeley, because He was everywhere and He did have some rules. He told everyone not to be sad and to love everyone – after all, He wouldn’t give you problems to make you weaker. Maybe in all honesty our sole purpose in life is just to warn others. If that was the case Emileeeeee decided it was better to walk through life happily then be dragged through it. She only  wished she realized it sooner. After all- you have to go your own way!

 

 

 

 

From the upcoming book  Grimm Tayles of Emileeeeee McPheeeee- out sometime in the spring or early summer if I can get my brain together.

 

Cover by Diana Ani Stokely- Grafix to Go

 

A very rough copy of this was published in The Berkeley Xpress in  2010 and it is a true story after all we all have some Emileeeeee McPheeeeee in us. Sculpture of Emileeeeee McPheeeeee by Miss Bobby Jean of Berkeley, California.

 

 

 

Song dedicated to Bob Bromby

 

 

 

 

 

Now available on Amazon US and Amazon Canada. Canadians please contact me for books to get cheaper shipping.

Or buy the Kindle version now available on the US site.

 

 

 

 Cowansville High School book will be available in January

 

 

Linda Blogs about this and that daily on:

 

 

 

 

 

 

www.Hypersmash.com

[Valid Atom 1.0]