Tag Archives: german-shepherds

Memoirs of a Doggie Blogger from The Valley Veterinary Clinic

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So I have been shaking my head a lot, and my Mother thinks I have an ear infection. She said my ears are broke! I don’t really know where I am going, but it has to be better than my yard. It’s just the same boring people day by day walking by to bark at. Or, it’s sitting upstairs behind the writer tapping away on her computer. A guy needs some excitement. The minute she brought out my collar and leash I knew it had to be party time.

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I am 12 years old, which is 84 in human years, and I have a hard time getting into the SUV now. My Mother did try a few times lifting my front paws up and then trying to get the back end up. We had to do it many times, and she was really spouting off the potty words. Heck, if she was in dog years she would be dead! Does she ever think I might exaggerate the whole ordeal to get her going? Once she finally got me in it kind of looked like a giant fur ball in the front seat. Remember, the car seat is where the dog hair sticks to everything but me!

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Okay, the front seat is kind of small for me, and as you can see I am shedding. So, I decided after I left a lot of fur in the front seat– I might as well reciprocate in the back. Good to make her sweat a bit!

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The window, the air conditioning. Now this is living! My eyes might be going, but I can still spot that mailman on William Street. He’s lucky I’m in the car! I mean, how can you stay calm at a time like this? By the way, the window’s not dirty-that’s my nose art!

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So we are in my favourite place. I like these people because they make me feel better. Maybe you read my last blog called Collecting Your Dog’s Urine Sample. Now my Mom really had choice words for that job she was given by the “Vets” and wrote about it.

Look at those hot gals on the magazine covers! Whoooohooooo! Girls!!!!

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Are these toys for me? My Mother says they are for cats or small children- she can’t quite figure it out! She told me not to touch them though! Too bad I can’t sneak a few out of here! Cat’s are annoying- I can poop outside and they have to do it in a box!

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My Mother told me that her Grandma always bought her a treat at the grocery store each week. This is not the grocery store, but she is definitely buying me a bag of treats! I mean why does she get to eat the good stuff and I have to eat the Iams dog food?

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Okay time to lick the cat perch in the examining room. These cats taste great! Some hot nurse took my temperature from my back door. I licked her after- maybe we can date now. I kissed a girl and I liked it! So now I have drops for my ears and it’s time to go. Wonder who is in the waiting room?

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There are two dogs outside the room and they are my size. Harley the Boxer is protecting his Mama, and he will fight to the death for her. There is also a big black dog that looks like the Hound of the Baskervilles- but he looks a little dazed. But, my Mom is rushing me out there so all three of us don’t have a doggy donnybrook. You will have to excuse my Mom, she still lives in the dark ages and refers to a “let’s get ready to rumble” with some old hockey term her Dad, the lifelong Maple Leafs fan taught her. Yes, she can be annoying, but she loves me.

That was exciting today, hope we can go for a walk now because I feel like some butt sniffing!  By the way Mom, I booked a neutering procedure for us both at the same time, I figured that was only fair!

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Valley Veterinary Clinic would like to remind everyone not to leave their pets in the car please, cars can kill!

Buy Linda Secaspina’s Books— Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac– Tilting the Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place and 4 others on Amazon or Amazon Canada or Wisteria at 62 Bridge Street in Carleton Place

Till Milkbone Do Us Part

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At the age of 63, I no longer have interest in listening to a male voice tell me what I can or cannot do. For once in my life, I want a companion that is silent and loving, so I have chosen my dog to share my remaining years. My dog eats what I give him and does not demand that I shop for probiotics or buy him organic items.

If I choose not to take a bath one day; my best friend will not care, and actually prefers the smell of freshly cooked meat over the scent of Victoria’s Secret. No longer do I worry about little white lies, because if I catch him doing something wrong, he simply lowers his head and gives me his paw.

He does not ask for the remote, nor demand hours of TV sports, and when I get annoyed with his behaviour I immediately send him out. I no longer have to share my smoothies, and the worst I have to put up with is his occasional sloppy drinking out of the toilet. He never throws an insult, or puts me down in front of his furry acquaintances.

He isn’t on Facebook or Instagram. He doesn’t know how to take a selfie, but he does like watching other dogs on youtube. You really can’t call that porn. He doesn’t chase after other women. The only thing he runs after is a stick. He knows I don’t want anything to do with his saliva-ridden rubber pig. No one is offended if he scratches in public.

Neither of us are masters of recycling or niche consumerism. My dog never complains about hating his job. He doesn’t insist on jogging at 5am in the morning. After a rough day at the park, he just falls asleep. I don’t need to carry on a mindless conversation. There are no stacks of books in the bathroom for leisurely reading, his mantra is: “when you gotta go, you gotta go”! There are no brochures for “dream-like” vacations, because there are only so many ways you can enhance the image of a squatting dog.

Am I living in idiocy? Not really. I appreciate the fact that he has groomed body hair and thank my stars that he doesn’t wear skinny jeans. Sometimes his social intelligence leaves me baffled, but in my heart I know this one truth. If he or anyone else were left in a cold garage I know who would be happiest to see me.

 

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