Tag Archives: fear

Fear of the Life Aquatic by Linda Knight Seccaspina

Fear of the Life Aquatic by Linda Knight Seccaspina

Oakland Ferry- San Francisco 1880

Fear of the Life Aquatic by Linda Knight Seccaspina

One hot summer day when I was 6 my mother spoke some wise words while we stood on the edge of the dock at Selby Lake in Quebec. Bernice Ethylene Knight warned me over and over not to stare at the water as she prophesied that I would fall in. While everyone was enjoying their picnic lunch I immediately returned to the edge of that dock to test her theory.

Like a flying duck making a fell swoop into the water I fell in head first. That was the day I nearly drowned and water and “boating” became a fearful enemy. When I turned 60  ten years ago, I felt I should finally throw caution to the wind. 

Oakland, California- July 2012

I walked slowly down the planked path to the dock as the seagulls flew over me with mocking cries. They could smell my fear and taunted me as I approached the dock. I could feel my stomach inching up into my throat and it felt like the church picnic at Haven Isles in the 60’s all over again. Walking across the small plank that was hooked to the dock reminded me of the swinging bridge across the river at that annual picnic at the popular Townships location. If this thing swayed like that Haven Isles bridge Linda was going to be glued to the dock in fear forever.

Seldom late for anything I arrive 37 minutes ahead of schedule to make sure I am on time to possibly die. I call my friend and leave a message that if the ferry starts going down— please pick up my call and not let it go to message.  I decide to stick my identification that I have placed in a plastic bag inside my sports bra so if the boat goes down they can identify my body quickly.

I watch the elderly tourists getting onto the Potomac; fondly known as The Floating White House. The boat was originally called the USCG Cutter Electra in 1934. I watch as they pull anchor and gaze at the waving occupants that I feel might not make it across the bay.

We all proceed on to the ferry like a funeral march, and I glance at the sign that states that if the above alarm goes off to man your stations.  Where actually is my station I ask the steward as he silently motions me to go upstairs to the second deck. Watching from above I see a child below grasping a floater. He too is unsure of his fate and I silently berate myself for not bringing a floater.

We approach Treasure Island and the water begins to get rougher. An elderly man from the old 187th Airbourne assures me everything will be fine and begins to tell me stories from WWII. The fear has now been replaced by similar droning words that I have been told dozens of times by my late grandfather. 

I am amazed at how little that holds up the Bay Bridge and realize that the bridge will fall on us if an earthquake should immediately occur.  I wonder if the captain is slowing down just to scare us as there is most certainly no backed up traffic in these waters.

Attempting to get the perfect shot of the bridge I fall on the slippery deck as the captain increases his speed. Thankfully my nightmare does not occur and Linda does not do a fatal

swan dive over the edge. The passengers are impressed as I lay there and take a picture of the under belly of the Bay Bridge. There is no way I could have gotten this angle standing up.

The captain now assumes his ferry is a speed boat and we bounce off the crests of the waves that make the nearby sailboats heave up and down. I  suddenly question whether I should immediately go in and hit the bar.

I see Pier 39 in the distance and wonder how people swim from that pier to Alcatraz Island everyday. Neighbouring passengers tell me there are dolphins in this part of the bay and I immediately think of Flipper and how he helped drowning people.

Getting off the ferry I am immediately greeted by The Silver Man whose real name is Evan. I notice the large bucket he has for the exiting passengers like myself.  My stomach silently asks what form of payment he wants. I am proud that I faced my fear head on and know that if I ever win a cruise — it is going to the first person that wants it.

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We Are No Longer in Gnome Man’s Land — Do You Gnome What I am Saying?

Painting the Memories with Written Word –Linda Knight Seccaspina

The Notorious EOTS — aka — Elf on The Shelf

The Notorious EOTS —  aka — Elf on The Shelf
a page out of my Facebook Past Photos book

This week I got in my wonderful glossy page coffee table book of last years photos on Facebook. My granddaughter Sophia loved the picture book, but could not stop laughing at the photo of the Elf on the Shelf in the toilet. Over and over she wanted to see that photo, even if it really wasn’t a real Elf on the Shelf but a Made in Japan 60s Elf instead. Sophia wanted to know why I put him in the toilet. She has yet to read and be a judge of my humour writing on PEEPS and Elves so I just said,

“Because he deserved it!”

As I was carefully explaining that no one, especially she, should throw anything down the toilet, she had this look of relief on her face. I said, “Sophia, don’t you like the Elf on the Shelf?” She shook her head and said, “No, I don’t like them, and my friends don’t like them because they move around a lot and scare kids!”

I think my mouth dropped to the ground to hear this from the mouth of a six-year-old, but had to agree on this matter. I remember the vintage Made in Japan Elves all lined up on top of the upright piano when I was a child– and their faces gave me nightmares.

Today’s children are told this Elf on the Shelf, is only there to report back to Santa if they have been naughty or nice. If this thirty dollar plus elf really has the ability to be a toy during waking hours and then move around at night, I know I certainly would have wondered what this elf could possibly do while the family slept. Like Sophia, my younger self would have laid in bed with some light on after checking the closet to make sure this elf with maybe a few friends was in the area. Maybe even double check to make sure the elf didn’t have some weapon ready to reenact something out of Criminal Minds.

I don’t think Sophia has ever told anyone about her fear of the Elf on the Shelf, and I in turn did not tell her how scared I was when I was her age. Instead we laughed over and over about my photo of the Elf in the toilet and she kept repeating, “he deserved it!”

I told her if she had a problem with an elf, Daddy most certainly would not like her to put it in the toilet, but just open the front door, lay him on his side and kick him out into the great yonder. Gentle words reassured her the “elf business” was some sort of vague scam. Sophia didn’t really know what a ‘scam’ was, but it was enough for her to understand the Elf on the Shelf was not waiting or watching to deliver judgement when the lights went out. Besides, teaching children to uncritically accept intrusive surveillance is a little sinister in itself. Thank you Sophia for remembering how I felt, and I think you and I will just stick with Buddy the Elf, or maybe one of Gammy’s aggravating puppets.

Sophia and I .. I have Francois the Fox, one of my many vintage puppets that my grandkids don’t see the humour in LOLOL