An email friend once told me her husband told her he was going out to purchase cigarettes at 10 pm one night. Odd? Not really unless you hear the rest of the story. He never came back! There will always be bad breakup stories but some of these lines you will not believe!
1. “I got a new job, I’ll call you when I get settled.” Yep, never heard from him again.
2. “I think I might be pregnant. And its not yours”!
3. “You are financially undesirable.”
4. “I was just going to wait for you to die, but that was taking too long”.
5. “Hey your GF changed her FB status from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘complicated’!”
6. “I like you so much that I would need a life time to tell you that, and that’s too long.”
7. “I’m dating someone else. If only I were in love with just one girl, not two.”
8. “I need to be more efficient with my time”
9. “You don’t look as you did on Christian Mingle. God Bless”!
10. “I don’t want to hold you back”.
11.”Maybe this break up will be good for you, since you’ve never really experienced pain before.”
12. “Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes!”
13. “I’ve never lived on my own before and I feel like it’s something I should do.” (He is 41 years old!)
14. “The distance simply isn’t going to work, and I’m sorry about all the promises I couldn’t keep. If I told you I loved you, I’d only be lying to you and myself. You’re a good girl, find someone who will make you forget me. I will be cutting off all contact, I suggest you do the same. Stay strong.”
My worst breakup line?
1974- Downtown Ottawa- Pestalozzi College Residence- 10 man unit. ( I was the only female)
Sensitive soul asks me out on a date. Compasionate Linda cannot say no as she hates hurting people’s feelings, so agrees to go to a Donovan concert. Spends a completely miserable time sneezing uncontrollably from all the patchouli he wears. The Donovan fan comes back to my room for tea so I can figure out how to let him down easy. Four of the nine man unit bang on my door and want to watch Born Free so I tell him to hide in the closet while I try to get rid of them. They do not take no for an answer and the poor sap sits in the closet for a good 90 minutes. They finally leave and he begins to cry begging me to date him again. I look at him and say,” I will always love you, but I just don’t like you very much.” I still cannot believe I did that. Life isn’t for the weak, and love isn’t for cowards.