The Cost of Courtship in the 1900s — Taking Your Date to Court

The Sault Daily Star

Sault St. Marie, Ontario, Canada • Mon, 17 Jan 1916Page 5

Dating used to be almost similar to a business transaction-

Women would meet with several men, with her parents present, to whittle the pickings down to the most suitable match for marriage, which heavily relied on factors such as financial and social status. When a young woman decided on a man she wanted to see exclusively, their activities as a couple took place either in the household, or at social gatherings. At that time, there was no such thing as just two young lovers “going out on a date.”

If a young man was interested in a young woman, he would follow the proper protocol of calling upon her, which meant that he would come to the family’s home and (hopefully) be welcomed into their parlor. If he was invited back for subsequent visits, he would be free to come and call upon the young woman during hours specified by her parents.

The Yonkers Herald

Yonkers, New York • Thu, 14 Dec 1916Page 6

Vincent ended up finding a Slovakian gal and looks like he had a happy life being an entrepeneur. Hence why he probably sued poor Lizzie.

Name	Vincent Mudrak
Age	49
Birth Year	abt 1871
Birthplace	Slovakia
Home in 1920	Guttenberg, Hudson, New Jersey
Street	Twenty-Seven Street
House Number	138
Residence Date	1920
Race	White
Gender	Male
Immigration Year	1886
Relation to Head of House	Head
Marital Status	Married
Spouse’s Name	Catherine Mudrak
Father’s Birthplace	Slovakia
Mother’s Birthplace	Slovakia
Native Tongue	Slovak
Able to Speak English	Yes
Occupation	Manager
Industry	Cofee
Employment Field	Own Account
Home Owned or Rented	Owned
Home Free or Mortgaged	Mortgaged
Naturalization Status	Naturalized
Able to read	Yes
Able to Write	Yes
Neighbours	View others on page
Household Members (Name)AgeRelationshipVincent Mudrak49HeadCatherine Mudrak29WifeJohn Mudrak3Son

The Kansas City Times

Kansas City, Missouri • Wed, 4 Oct 1916Page 7

She Came Back! A Ghost Divorce Story

Slander You Say in Hopetown? Divorce in Rosetta?

Go Ask Alice – The Saga of a Personal Ad Divorce

Putting Together Family History Through Clippings- White Pretty Harper Kirkwood

1922 — The Year of the Radio Marriages.. Who Knew?

It is Important to Remember your Marriage Vows and in Particular your Commitment to Obey Him — Reader’s Warning

A Video About Lysol — the Marriage Hygiene

The Thomas Alfred Code Journal – Letters-Part 15- Code Family– Love and Runaway Marriages

Till Death Do Us Part in Lanark County?

Taming of the Beckwith Shrew?

A Smith’s Falls “Frustrated Young Love’s Dream” Purdy vs Lenahan

Going to the Chapel? Hold on– Not so Fast!

Another Episode in Spinsterdom–The Armour Sisters of Perth

What Do Women Really Want? After Valentine’s Day Thoughts…. Linda Knight Seccaspina

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What Do Women Really Want? After Valentine’s Thoughts….

Linda Knight Seccaspina

I’m not anti-love, in fact I watch an average of 5 Hallmark movies a week. I thought Valentine’s Day was romantic when I was in Grade 1, but by the time I got to Grade 3  it seemed that it was nothing but business transactions between the card and chocolate companies. In fact for a couple of decades I decided I didn’t need some popular opinion to tell me what my wants or needs would be for a man. In fact, I had a list. Yes, I had a list and I remember it well.

In the grooming department I wanted no dirty combs growing bacteria in some back jeans pocket. Of course that would be the rule only if the fella had hair. Lessons on “wipe-downs and aim” would be needed, and green things growing in a toilet bowl were not usually the mark of a real man in my mind.

A  generous supply of toilet paper must be available, and stocking the bathroom with paper towels from the gym, gas station, and other such places was a no-no. Pants should not be considered portable hand towels. Having many empty spools of toilet paper scattered as kick-toys is not a big turn-on for many women. Reminders should be mentioned frequently that if there is no toilet paper in the house your sheets aren’t really clean. Also, I would prefer no mockery at all about the 18 bottles of hair products I have in my bathroom.

In his home, decorating floors is not really an efficient shelf. Retro is not cheap furniture, and using a mattress or a futon on the floor?  Listen, if you’re old enough to bend over to change the sheets, you’re old enough for a big-boy bed. In the retro theme of home decorating, Lava lamps are not making a comeback. Black light went out in the 60s and 70s and that spooky velvet paint-by-number on the wall does not make the entire room come together. Even if he passed the test there was a bottom line. If he has a collection of action figures, he better have a law or medical degree, or better yet- a substantial trust fund.

Real dishes in the kitchen are important to me as I don’t care to eat out of containers and use plastic cutlery. (Please note that these rules changed once I was older and had a  big crowd over)  Obviously, a restraining order and messages from your ex-wife on the answering machine are particularly unappealing to me either. If you disagree with some of these maybe you don’t really want me as a girlfriend or wife, and just be thankful you have that internet connection!

Love should not be complicated– but it is. I’ve had my share of doozies and I’m sure I was a real piece of work to some of my dates. The world is a mess but I’m glad my Steve is in it even though we did have to have a chat about his use of plastic cutlery and paper plates in his kitchen. Since there was no taxidermy anywhere on the walls, I gave it a pass.

A few years ago at the local Heritage dinner a beautiful diamond ring from Burns Jewellers was the big ticket. I joked with Steve that if he won, he was going to have to get down on his knees and ask me to marry him for a second time. He might have passed the list, but he had never gotten down on one knee and popped the question. That was still a stickler on my imaginary list that one might blame the Hallmark Channel for.

Sadly we did not win– but a good friend did. I was thrilled for her– but what did she do? She put the ring down on the table and told Steve it was his. We were flabbergasted, just flabbergasted, and I think I was in shock. In front of a capacity crowd at the Town Hall Steve got down on one knee and asked me to marry him again. I could not stand up, I was completely frozen.There in the middle of Carleton Place on a cold winter’s night in February I got my Hallmark moment.

In my confusion I did not realize Father David was there and we could have done the marriage roundup a second time right then and there. When I mentioned it to the good padre after the fact he said,

“Well, we’ve still got the parking lot!!”

My lists are gone forever and I laugh when I think about it today. The thing is: you should love your special guy or gal all year long, not on one

day, and get rid of the lists. But, you can still  buy me discounted chocolates the day after Valentine’s. You have to admit that nothing is hotter than a bargain!

See you next week!

Trying to Put Humour Into Being Sick –Linda Knight Seccaspina

A Town Founded by Women and Gossip

There was No Shortage of Wives in Carleton Place

It Wasn’t Raining Men in Carleton Place!

Cruisin Through the Dance Halls- From Carleton Place and Beyond!! Larry Clark

read– Lanark County Dance Halls 1950s, 60s & 70s Arlene Stafford-Graeme Hoatson Beattie

We ranged far and wide, to investigate the gals of Almonte, Perth and the Smiths Falls. Beside the point, the Almonte girls and twelve girls in Perth likewise Smiths Falls’ girls were not likely to have anything to do with a carload of boys from Carleton Place, however our dreams took us! The boys grouped in a car, probably because they were too timid to approach a girl on her own and the girls grouped for protection from these roaming boys: a protection that was hardly necessary (not considered by either).

Along came recognition that the weekend dances were a better opportunity to actually socialize with the opposite sex- no pressure; you could participate if you found the courage or just watch from the sidelines until something/someone moved you to contemplate an approach to a girl bereft of her protectors (six or dozen)-it happened.

We went as far afield as Constance Bay, Rideau Ferry, a variety of Fall Fairs, upstairs at the Richmond arena and all of the aforementioned towns, but the favourite for me was Mulligan’s barn; located on the Carp road (long gone).  

The Ottawa Citizen
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
05 Jun 1957, Wed  •  Page 34

We drove to these places in our jalopies amid a myriad of hiccups- 39 Plymouth, the exhaust/ muffler fell off onto the highway, so hot had to be kicked to the side and picked up on our rather noisy return. The repair was a bendable pipe that left the noise behind us. Same car (not mine); armed with a bucket and on arrival at Mulligans, placed it under the rear of the car. The plan was to not get so involved in the dancing and socializing that we would forget to return to the car and empty the gasoline that was dripping into the bucket- some close calls. Another close call was my getting kicked off the dance floor for, “swinging to hard”. (rock and roll in its infancy was not always appreciated). A really close call not ending in my favour either, was when we were cooling off after a dance, a girl and I decided to visit the car (ostensibly to check the bucket), had hardly settled in when there was knock at the door, which I reluctantly opened, to face a young lad about ten years old, speaking the dreadful words;-“Mom wants you to come with me and you are going home” I forgot about the bucket! Never saw her again, which turned out to be a good thing!

I must have had a reputation.

Constance Bay dancing the night away with my girlfriend (future wife) while trying to ignore her sister (our chaperone). Venturing from the hall, I had trouble finding the car, the fog was that thick and finding the road, problematic but I had to get the girls home. Settled on winding the window down and steering by white line, creeping along for what seemed like hours. Finally able to transfer from Hwy 7 to Ashton’s main street? and made the right turn at Campbell’s house, but I must have been so tensed with the drive that I didn’t t let go of the wheel after the turn and ended up in the ditch-I had a reputation for ditches at the time and this just added to the history.

Now my brain is getting foggy and will end.

Thanks Larry Clark

Related reading

read– Lanark County Dance Halls 1950s, 60s & 70s Arlene Stafford

The Dawn Patrol on Local Dance Halls

Dance Hall Fire Blakeney

Dance Hall Days with The Coachmen

Down At the Twist and Shout–Wave’s Inn

Straight Outta Carleton Place High School — Wava McDaniel Baker

Lanark County Dance Halls 1950s, 60s & 70s

Larry Clark Stories

The Summer of 1956- Larry Clark

The Carleton Place Night Patrol: Aka Skin Dogging — Larry Clark

Larry Clark — Upper Bridge Street in Carleton Place

Memories of a Photo — The Forgotten Canadian Forestry Corps, Booze and a Mud Quagmire

Update to the Charles Lindbergh Story — Larry Clark

 Tales You Did Not Know About—Charles Lindbergh Landed in Carleton Place

Memories of Neighbourhood Kids — Larry Clark

Larry Clark Memories : Billings Bridge, Willow Trees and the Orange Lodge

Skating on Fraser’s Pond and Hobo Haven — Larry Clark

Glory Days in Carleton Place– Larry Clark

Larry Clark — Your Veribest Agent

A Personal Story — Caught in the Ice– Rocky Point- Larry Clark

The First Date ADHS- 1969 –Unknown

No name was attached to this but it came from someone in 12A in 1969 at Almonte High School

Dating Single Beds and Jimmy Legs

Dating A Farmer — It’s Not All Hearts And Cow Tails

Just Like Internet Dating?— Circa 1913

Because You Loved Me — A Vintage Lanark Romance

Would You Duel Anything For Love?

The McArthur Love Story

Groovy Hints on How to Catch and Keep a Boy – 60’s style

Dating Single Beds and Jimmy Legs

Dating is now is a cakewalk compared to how it used to be. In the 1950s, for instance, a guy could hardly look at a girl until dad said okay and flirting wasn’t so much about finding someone who likes you for you as it was about convincing a guy that you were pretty and poised enough to make a good wife.

Ladies Home Journal listed 129 ways to get a husband, with suggestions like “attend night school—take courses men like,” “get lost at football games,” and “wear a Band-Aid” because “people always ask what happened.” Oh, and if you want him you can “stumble when you walk into a room that he’s in” or “stand in a corner and cry softly” because “chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong.” Giveth me a break LOL!!

bank of nova scotia carleton place – carleton place and beckwith heritage museum photo

The bad boys of the decade were on a different level and lining the streets looking for girls to catcall. It was also said that there were certain boys talking to a girl while disrespectfully hanging on their bicycle, one leg over the crossbar. Oh the horrors!!

Advice was given that girls not out of her teens would do better to avoid a dinner engagement but a career girl, from her twenties onward, can accept such an invitation, but she should not stay beyond 10 or 10:30. These social norms were put in place to protect children “from their own possible foolishness, and from destructive gossip.”

 In the ’50s and ’60s, though, women were taught to worry more about their appearances and getting a guy’s attention than they were about actually finding a person they connected with. Advice included things like “buy a full-length mirror and take a good look before you go to greet him” and “go on a diet if you need to.”

“The twin-bed seems to have come to stay,” proclaimed the Yorkshire Herald in 1892, “and will no doubt in time succeed the double bed in all rooms occupied by two persons”.

The proclamation may have proved less than accurate, but for almost a century between the 1850s and 1950s, separate beds were seen as a healthier, more modern option for couples than the double, with Victorian doctors warning that sharing a bed would allow the weaker sleeper to drain the vitality of the stronger.

By the 1920s, twin beds were seen as a fashionable, modern choice. “Separate beds for every sleeper are as necessary as are separate dishes for every eater,” wrote Dr Edwin Bowers in his 1919 volume, Sleeping for Health. “They promote comfort, cleanliness, and the natural delicacy that exists among human beings.” They had also been promoted as part of that constellation of social and cultural configuration comprising modernity” Whoa………………

My grandparents for as long as they were alive had twin beds. I never questioned it as the TV families all had them– so it must be okay.. or maybe they had the ‘jimmy legs”. 🙂

Dating A Farmer — It’s Not All Hearts And Cow Tails

Just Like Internet Dating?— Circa 1913

When Newspapers Gossiped–David Kerr Innisville

Kerr or Ennis? More about the Innisville Scoundrel

I Have Some Sort of Degree, Love Tacos, and Looking For Someone…..

 

Two weeks ago in less than 48 hours I found out I was accepted on the Beautiful People Dating site and 48 hours later I exited. It was a dysfunctional up and down affair for two days with over 30,000 people rating me from: “Hell No- to Hmmm okay” or Are you Kidding? The site’s owner, Greg Hodge claims that over 8.5 million members have been booted off the site for not being attractive enough, and that there are around 750,000 current members. The way the site works is that anyone signs up to be a member, but the judgmental app allows members to rate each other, something that they call a ‘democratic rating system’.  Ha!

 

Let’s face it this site is not on my age demographic scale at all. Most of these applicants are under 35 and wearing less clothing than when I first came into this world. The fact I got in was beyond me, and I refused to pay extra money to see what people said about me. Unlike the Ashley Madison site I wrote about years ago this one is pretty tame. There were few manhood photos — but something pretty strange did happen.

 

This fellow in San Diego contacted me immediately and said he knew me. I spent a lot of time in California from 1976- 2013 so it could have been anyone. But no, it was someone I knew for about 8 hours in San Francisco in the 1970s. I don’t know about you, but everything seems to come back to haunt me one way or another– in many shapes and forms.

 

Here it is 2019 and this man seemed to be in the same situation as that evening I met him on a tour bus in San Francisco in 1975. I remembered the meeting just like it was yesterday. I had just been shopping at a vintage store on Market Street and had bought a 1940s Black suit with a long long skirt that had been cut on the bias. It was the first time I had been to San Francisco and decided to take a bus tour of the city. I stuck out on that senior citizen filled bus like a sore thumb, but I was determined to have a good time– and a good time I did.

 

Just as the bus pulled out this man my age walked on the bus looking like something out of a fashion magazine. He sat down beside me and I think I just about died. His name was Mark and he worked for the famous hair stylist Vidal Sassoon in London, England. He too was in San Francisco for the first time and had the same idea as I did. The British accent, the Mod clothes, and God knows what else had me at hello, what can I say?

 

Everyone had a super time that night and the senior citizens were hilarious. Mark thought we were a great match, but I have always been a realist, and that sucks sometime –but that’s who I am.

 

After the bus tour we walked around the downtown area and sat in Union Square talking and well okay, kissing. I was staying near Union Hotel in this rundown historic place called the Mark Twain Hotel. It was originally built as the Linden Hotel in 1928, and the reason I was staying at this fleabag hotel was because blues singer Billie Holiday got arrested in room 203 in 1949 for drug possession. Yes, I asked to be placed in room 203.

 

Mark seemed to be determined to also stay in room 203 but I was having none of it. His British accent escalated and he began to rant and rave and I knew immediately this would end up becoming a future good brunch story for years to come.

 

“You know, all me mates all told me that I would have all these “birds in me bed” when I came to America, and it’s not happening, he lamented.

 

With that this “bird” walked away and never saw him again–until this week. He had moved to America years ago and it looked like he still had not acquired any birds in his bed! He sent me an email saying he could never forget my eyes, and after all these years he knew it was me. Oh Brother!

 

While I was telling him I was married (even though it was clearly marked on my status) and was doing some undercover journalism I began to wonder if I was like a squirrel– because I seem to attract nuts. Mark continued his email conversation like it was some bad date expressing every bad thing that had happened to him in his life for 40 odd years. I was worried if he was going to slide all this information across the table like he was making an offer or something. Then I realized that some people are like old TV sets- you have to hit them a few times until they get the picture.

 

I said I had to go and wondered why people join dating sites. Are people that desperate? Has internet dating made you wonder what romance really is now on dating apps these days? Really, is anyone interested in Internet dating, or are they just dating the Internet? Right now, several billion people aren’t dating you.  How rude is that?

 

 

After running into a bonafide Dr. Phil type scammer, an obsessive person who thought I had been sent by God; I left the site slamming the site door behind me. Sometimes I wonder if they need to put a ‘previous owners’ check list on these dating site applications.

 

Some days I am grateful that I have lived through the hardships of not being able to Google something or someone. But, you have to admit, that now you can meet and break up with someone who has impressive photoshop skills in the privacy of your own home. Sadly online dating is not like Amazon, there are clearly no returns policy and I think there should be.

 

where you can buy all Linda Seccaspina’s books-You can also read Linda in The Townships Sun and theSherbrooke Record and and Screamin’ Mamas (USACome and visit the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page– what’s there? Cool old photos–and lots of things interesting to read. Also check out The Tales of Carleton Place. Tales of Almonte and Arnprior Then and Now.

 

 

Dating A Farmer — It’s Not All Hearts And Cow Tails

Just Like Internet Dating?— Circa 1913

Because You Loved Me — A Vintage Lanark Romance

Would You Duel Anything For Love?

The McArthur Love Story

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I just Wanted Someone to Love Me- 1868

Almonte Gazette October 1868–The Almonte Gazette archive

A local poet sends us the following  verses for publication…

 

Someone to love me; the world is so dreary;

Lonely and sad I am wandering hours, looking in vain at the faces to meet

To see one that I in affection may greet.

Some one to love me, who’ll ever be true,

Even though the clouds hide the sunshine from view ;

Some one around whom my sad heart may twine, and cling like ivy surrounding the pine.

Some one to love me and for me to care.

In whose affections and love I may share;

Some one to listen to the sound of my feet, and who in glad welcome my presence will greet.

Some one to love me, from all to protect— In this lone pathway my steps to direct;

Some one to love from a heart that is pure ,

Who’ll ever be faithful while life shall endure.

 

A few weeks later a response was in the editorial section

 

Local Poet Receives His Just Due

Sir. — There was a time when your addresses would have flattered and pleased me, but that time has long since passed away. Your conduct during the last two years has been made known to me, and, viewing you in the light of a dangerous man, I do not desire anymore intimate acquaintance. I could not reasonably expect happiness from a union with an individual who has destroyed the mental quiet of more than one young person.

 

Lanark County Genealogical Society Website

Information where you can buy all Linda Seccaspina’s books-You can also read Linda in Hometown News

 

Why Should Our Local Unmarried Lads Pay a Tax?

 

Carleton Place Gillies Woolen Mill Employees– 12 women-4 boys and 24 men

Photo from the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum

Almonte Gazette 1897

THE HORRIBLE FELLOW !

A writer in the Smith’s Falls Record has the following commentary on the obnoxious poll tax which the young men of Almonte, Carleton Place and other towns, are compelled to pay :

“There is a poll tax which all young men who have attained their majority, and who elect to remain unmarried, must pay. It has just occurred to me that all young women who fill the bill in the same manner should likewise be compelled to pay this tax.”

In this age, when women are fighting hard to earn their own living, and in many cases crowding the young men to the wall, the consideration gallantry should be abandoned, and the law, which always had a weakness for the side of the ladies, should be modelled more in accordance with the spirit of the times.

I don’t know whether or not there are any young ladies over 21 years, in the towns of Almonte or Carleton Place who are unmarried, but if there are any they should be made pay the poll tax or get married. The matrimonial agencies would go out of business if this law were fairly carried out, and I don’t, at present, see any reason why it should not be.

 

Author’s Note–A poll tax was assessed against any unmarried men over 21 years of age. What is funny is the dog tax was 2-3 dollars, basically the same as a poll tax.

 

Read the Almonte Gazette here

 

The Tax on Bachelors

William Atzinger, aged 35, notified the assessor of Chouteau County, Montana,
that he will refuse to pay the poll tax of $3 levied on bachelors by the last
state legislature. In his declaration he says, “Spinsters are responsible for
my not being married in their refusals of my wooing in the past.”

The report from Great Falls, Montana, further quotes the defiant bachelor as
follows: “Tax the spinsters of the same age and I will gladly pay, but
otherwise it is class legislation and I stand upon my rights. Furthermore I
refuse to get married to escape jail and I refuse to pay a bachelor tax to
escape jail.

Background
In 1896 a Mrs. Charlotte Smith, feminist activist and President of the Women’s Rescue League, spearheaded an anti-bachelor campaign based on her concerns about the increasing numbers of women who could not find husbands — a surprising development considering men outnumbered women in the United States then by 1.5 million.

Her solution to the “problem” was to denigrate, malign, and ultimately punish bachelors in order to pressure them into marrying any women unlucky enough to remain unwed. Mr’s Smith’s wage of war on bachelors began with attacks on public servants and officials, saying that bachelors have always been failures, and that bachelor politicians, especially, were “narrow minded, selfish, egotistical, and cowardly.”

She further claimed that, “It’s about time to organize antibachelor clubs in this state. It should be the purpose of every young woman to look up the record of each and every man who is looking for votes and, should his moral character be such would make him unfit for office, then his shortcoming should be the point of attack by the antibachelor women of Massachusetts. There are 47,000 girls between the ages of 20 and 29 years in this state who cannot find husbands… [and] the bachelor politicians, they do not dare discuss the social evil question.”

Part of her remedy was to have bachelors excluded from employment in prominent public sector positions. Her second punishment proposed a universal bachelor tax of $10 per year be applied,  amounting to between 1-4 weeks of the average wage, with the proceeds to provide living standards for ‘unmarried maidens’ orphans and the poor. In 1911, Mrs. Smith was still spruiking the tax on bachelors, claiming statistics showed that 60% of eligible men in Massachusetts never married, especially men of “small means” because “in order to be popular at the club now it is necessary for a man to have one or two automobiles a yacht, and two or three mistresses, but no marriage.”

Many proponents of the tax believed that it would encourage marriage and thereby reduce the state’s burden to care for those who did not financially support themselves. Perhaps most importantly Mrs. Smith felt that the tax would lower the number of men “who go around making love to young girls”.

Related Reading:

It Wasn’t Raining Men in Carleton Place!

I Found My Email Address on the Ashley Madison Website

Yesterday I read an article in a major local newspaper about one of their reporters finding his name on the Canadian-founded Ashley Madison dating site. Apparently, they even had the newspapers email address for his contact information. The reporter could not figure out how they got it. Right–well I know why–because one of my long lost email addresses is also on that same list.

I signed up a few years ago with very little information and no credit card info to write a story I was doing for Open Salon. But then again, I was also on farmersonly.com and dateazombie.com for a short period of time also doing research. Please note, I take my writing very seriously and am fearless when I write a story. Even though I requested they remove my name from Ashley Madison’s email list three days after the story was written; (and never heard from them again) the email address is still there. Let that be a lesson, if you have something to hide, your history is never wiped clean on the internet.

So now that the cat is out of the bag—one only has to ask what self-righteous, morality-policing, “sin”-protesting preachers, politicians, and hypocrites will be on this list? Better entertainment could hardly be imagined! Do we really care if other people are having an affair? Who is anyone to judge? Some people are going to be shocked when they find out both their husband and wife are on the site!

Why don’t these “internet Robin Hoods” do something useful? Clear some debts, give us higher credit scores, give someone an A on their finals. Apparently, customers are very hurt that these hackers would betray their trust and loyalty by revealing such information. Well honey, the karma train has just rolled into the station. Why would you blast all your info on a website during a day and age when everything is easily leaked and hacked? When you sign up, you are taking that risk–it’s common sense. No pity for those who lead their lives with hormones and sex drives.

Thirty-five and a half MILLION users worldwide. Should we call this hacking terrorism? People aren’t breaking the law by using this site or owning these sites. The hackers are breaking the law because they disagree with the sites’ owners and content. As I found out when I was researching the site- it was nothing but a cesspool. I was actually appalled at some of the stuff I saw, and it takes a lot to shake my apple tree.

Did some of these users begin to see themselves making a bad mistake, walk back from the brink and have a new appreciation for their S/O? A straying mind, temporary marital strife, lack of perspective and too much free time could have landed many people signing up for the site before realizing it was a mistake. Many of those people will now be outed – and their lives potentially ruined. And they say gay marriage is hurting the institution of heterosexual marriage?

Cheating is morally wrong – but it isn’t illegal. It is grounds for divorce- but we will never know the back story of every person being outed and why they were on the site. But again, in reality, it was, and always will be cheating. The new motto is: if you were not on Ashley Madison, you don’t have to worry. If you were, get a divorce attorney if you can’t work things out. I am personally hoping Charlie Sheen will say it was him, take the rap, and everyone will just move on with their lives.

If you don’t want someone to find out what you are doing, don’t do it. If you’re dumb enough to cheat via a website and think you’re infallible, then you deserve it. Don’t have an affair then. Especially via the internet.

Buy Linda Secaspina’s Books— Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac– Tilting the Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place and 4 others on Amazon or Amazon Canada or Wisteria at 62 Bridge Street in Carleton Place

I Can’t Date You If

If you have been on Divorce Court more that once.

If you show up with a loaded gun on the first date and fire warning shots at the slow waiter; I generally don’t pursue things any further.

If you have an STD I can’t date you, and I insist on seeing lab tests results.

I can’t date you until the Botox wears off so I can show you I’m interested.

If you can’t contribute to a decision involving both of us: “Umm I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

If you know all the women in the bar.

If eat your own boogers– isn’t that one in the Bible?
If you express your feelings to social networks before you tell me about them.

If you have green teeth and they are facing north, south, east, and west.

If you are my sister, first cousin, or under 12 years old. (not valid in Mississippi)

If your family reunions are held at ‘Jimbo’s Topless Joint.’

If you ‘just love’ your dogs, all 42 of them.

If you have underwear that is older than your Grandmother, or once belonged to your Grandmother.

If you don’t appreciate the McDonalds dollar menu.

If you think women should be a thin as a heroin addict or a 12 year old boy with a girl’s face and hair. It isn’t is healthy – period.

If your seasonal bath involves a midnight trip to the car wash.

My Father said not to date anymore as the backyard is almost full.