Tag Archives: dating

Cruisin Through the Dance Halls- From Carleton Place and Beyond!! Larry Clark

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Cruisin Through the Dance Halls- From Carleton Place and Beyond!! Larry Clark

We ranged far and wide, to investigate the gals of Almonte, Perth and the Smiths Falls. Beside the point, the Almonte girls and twelve girls in Perth likewise Smiths Falls’ girls were not likely to have anything to do with a carload of boys from Carleton Place, however our dreams took us! The boys grouped in a car, probably because they were too timid to approach a girl on her own and the girls grouped for protection from these roaming boys: a protection that was hardly necessary (not considered by either).

Along came recognition that the weekend dances were a better opportunity to actually socialize with the opposite sex- no pressure; you could participate if you found the courage or just watch from the sidelines until something/someone moved you to contemplate an approach to a girl bereft of her protectors (six or dozen)-it happened.

We went as far afield as Constance Bay, Rideau Ferry, a variety of Fall Fairs, upstairs at the Richmond arena and all of the aforementioned towns, but the favourite for me was Mulligan’s barn; located on the Carp road (long gone).  

The Ottawa Citizen
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
05 Jun 1957, Wed  •  Page 34

We drove to these places in our jalopies amid a myriad of hiccups- 39 Plymouth, the exhaust/ muffler fell off onto the highway, so hot had to be kicked to the side and picked up on our rather noisy return. The repair was a bendable pipe that left the noise behind us. Same car (not mine); armed with a bucket and on arrival at Mulligans, placed it under the rear of the car. The plan was to not get so involved in the dancing and socializing that we would forget to return to the car and empty the gasoline that was dripping into the bucket- some close calls. Another close call was my getting kicked off the dance floor for, “swinging to hard”. (rock and roll in its infancy was not always appreciated). A really close call not ending in my favour either, was when we were cooling off after a dance, a girl and I decided to visit the car (ostensibly to check the bucket), had hardly settled in when there was knock at the door, which I reluctantly opened, to face a young lad about ten years old, speaking the dreadful words;-“Mom wants you to come with me and you are going home” I forgot about the bucket! Never saw her again, which turned out to be a good thing!

I must have had a reputation.

Constance Bay dancing the night away with my girlfriend (future wife) while trying to ignore her sister (our chaperone). Venturing from the hall, I had trouble finding the car, the fog was that thick and finding the road, problematic but I had to get the girls home. Settled on winding the window down and steering by white line, creeping along for what seemed like hours. Finally able to transfer from Hwy 7 to Ashton’s main street? and made the right turn at Campbell’s house, but I must have been so tensed with the drive that I didn’t t let go of the wheel after the turn and ended up in the ditch-I had a reputation for ditches at the time and this just added to the history.

Now my brain is getting foggy and will end.

Thanks Larry Clark

Related reading

read– Lanark County Dance Halls 1950s, 60s & 70s Arlene Stafford

The Dawn Patrol on Local Dance Halls

Dance Hall Fire Blakeney

Dance Hall Days with The Coachmen

Down At the Twist and Shout–Wave’s Inn

Straight Outta Carleton Place High School — Wava McDaniel Baker

Lanark County Dance Halls 1950s, 60s & 70s

Larry Clark Stories

The Summer of 1956- Larry Clark

The Carleton Place Night Patrol: Aka Skin Dogging — Larry Clark

Larry Clark — Upper Bridge Street in Carleton Place

Memories of a Photo — The Forgotten Canadian Forestry Corps, Booze and a Mud Quagmire

Update to the Charles Lindbergh Story — Larry Clark

 Tales You Did Not Know About—Charles Lindbergh Landed in Carleton Place

Memories of Neighbourhood Kids — Larry Clark

Larry Clark Memories : Billings Bridge, Willow Trees and the Orange Lodge

Skating on Fraser’s Pond and Hobo Haven — Larry Clark

Glory Days in Carleton Place– Larry Clark

Larry Clark — Your Veribest Agent

A Personal Story — Caught in the Ice– Rocky Point- Larry Clark

The First Date ADHS- 1969 –Unknown

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The First Date ADHS- 1969 –Unknown

No name was attached to this but it came from someone in 12A in 1969 at Almonte High School

Dating Single Beds and Jimmy Legs

Dating A Farmer — It’s Not All Hearts And Cow Tails

Just Like Internet Dating?— Circa 1913

Because You Loved Me — A Vintage Lanark Romance

Would You Duel Anything For Love?

The McArthur Love Story

Groovy Hints on How to Catch and Keep a Boy – 60’s style

Dating Single Beds and Jimmy Legs

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Dating is now is a cakewalk compared to how it used to be. In the 1950s, for instance, a guy could hardly look at a girl until dad said okay and flirting wasn’t so much about finding someone who likes you for you as it was about convincing a guy that you were pretty and poised enough to make a good wife.

Ladies Home Journal listed 129 ways to get a husband, with suggestions like “attend night school—take courses men like,” “get lost at football games,” and “wear a Band-Aid” because “people always ask what happened.” Oh, and if you want him you can “stumble when you walk into a room that he’s in” or “stand in a corner and cry softly” because “chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong.” Giveth me a break LOL!!

bank of nova scotia carleton place – carleton place and beckwith heritage museum photo

The bad boys of the decade were on a different level and lining the streets looking for girls to catcall. It was also said that there were certain boys talking to a girl while disrespectfully hanging on their bicycle, one leg over the crossbar. Oh the horrors!!

Too Wong Foo Vida gets Raped - YouTube

Advice was given that girls not out of her teens would do better to avoid a dinner engagement but a career girl, from her twenties onward, can accept such an invitation, but she should not stay beyond 10 or 10:30. These social norms were put in place to protect children “from their own possible foolishness, and from destructive gossip.”

 In the ’50s and ’60s, though, women were taught to worry more about their appearances and getting a guy’s attention than they were about actually finding a person they connected with. Advice included things like “buy a full-length mirror and take a good look before you go to greet him” and “go on a diet if you need to.”

“The twin-bed seems to have come to stay,” proclaimed the Yorkshire Herald in 1892, “and will no doubt in time succeed the double bed in all rooms occupied by two persons”.

The proclamation may have proved less than accurate, but for almost a century between the 1850s and 1950s, separate beds were seen as a healthier, more modern option for couples than the double, with Victorian doctors warning that sharing a bed would allow the weaker sleeper to drain the vitality of the stronger.

By the 1920s, twin beds were seen as a fashionable, modern choice. “Separate beds for every sleeper are as necessary as are separate dishes for every eater,” wrote Dr Edwin Bowers in his 1919 volume, Sleeping for Health. “They promote comfort, cleanliness, and the natural delicacy that exists among human beings.” They had also been promoted as part of that constellation of social and cultural configuration comprising modernity” Whoa………………

My grandparents for as long as they were alive had twin beds. I never questioned it as the TV families all had them– so it must be okay.. or maybe they had the ‘jimmy legs”. 🙂

Dating A Farmer — It’s Not All Hearts And Cow Tails

Just Like Internet Dating?— Circa 1913

When Newspapers Gossiped–David Kerr Innisville

Kerr or Ennis? More about the Innisville Scoundrel

I just Wanted Someone to Love Me- 1868

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Almonte Gazette October 1868–The Almonte Gazette archive

A local poet sends us the following  verses for publication…

 

Someone to love me; the world is so dreary;

Lonely and sad I am wandering hours, looking in vain at the faces to meet

To see one that I in affection may greet.

Some one to love me, who’ll ever be true,

Even though the clouds hide the sunshine from view ;

Some one around whom my sad heart may twine, and cling like ivy surrounding the pine.

Some one to love me and for me to care.

In whose affections and love I may share;

Some one to listen to the sound of my feet, and who in glad welcome my presence will greet.

Some one to love me, from all to protect— In this lone pathway my steps to direct;

Some one to love from a heart that is pure ,

Who’ll ever be faithful while life shall endure.

 

A few weeks later a response was in the editorial section

 

Local Poet Receives His Just Due

Sir. — There was a time when your addresses would have flattered and pleased me, but that time has long since passed away. Your conduct during the last two years has been made known to me, and, viewing you in the light of a dangerous man, I do not desire anymore intimate acquaintance. I could not reasonably expect happiness from a union with an individual who has destroyed the mental quiet of more than one young person.

 

Lanark County Genealogical Society Website

Information where you can buy all Linda Seccaspina’s books-You can also read Linda in Hometown News

 

Why Should Our Local Unmarried Lads Pay a Tax?

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Carleton Place Gillies Woolen Mill Employees– 12 women-4 boys and 24 men

Photo from the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum

Almonte Gazette 1897

THE HORRIBLE FELLOW !

A writer in the Smith’s Falls Record has the following commentary on the obnoxious poll tax which the young men of Almonte, Carleton Place and other towns, are compelled to pay :

“There is a poll tax which all young men who have attained their majority, and who elect to remain unmarried, must pay. It has just occurred to me that all young women who fill the bill in the same manner should likewise be compelled to pay this tax.”

In this age, when women are fighting hard to earn their own living, and in many cases crowding the young men to the wall, the consideration gallantry should be abandoned, and the law, which always had a weakness for the side of the ladies, should be modelled more in accordance with the spirit of the times.

I don’t know whether or not there are any young ladies over 21 years, in the towns of Almonte or Carleton Place who are unmarried, but if there are any they should be made pay the poll tax or get married. The matrimonial agencies would go out of business if this law were fairly carried out, and I don’t, at present, see any reason why it should not be.

 

Author’s Note–A poll tax was assessed against any unmarried men over 21 years of age. What is funny is the dog tax was 2-3 dollars, basically the same as a poll tax.

 

Read the Almonte Gazette here

historicalnotes

 

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The Tax on Bachelors

William Atzinger, aged 35, notified the assessor of Chouteau County, Montana,
that he will refuse to pay the poll tax of $3 levied on bachelors by the last
state legislature. In his declaration he says, “Spinsters are responsible for
my not being married in their refusals of my wooing in the past.”

The report from Great Falls, Montana, further quotes the defiant bachelor as
follows: “Tax the spinsters of the same age and I will gladly pay, but
otherwise it is class legislation and I stand upon my rights. Furthermore I
refuse to get married to escape jail and I refuse to pay a bachelor tax to
escape jail.

Background
01-Charlotte-Smith-1896In 1896 a Mrs. Charlotte Smith, feminist activist and President of the Women’s Rescue League, spearheaded an anti-bachelor campaign based on her concerns about the increasing numbers of women who could not find husbands — a surprising development considering men outnumbered women in the United States then by 1.5 million.

Her solution to the “problem” was to denigrate, malign, and ultimately punish bachelors in order to pressure them into marrying any women unlucky enough to remain unwed. Mr’s Smith’s wage of war on bachelors began with attacks on public servants and officials, saying that bachelors have always been failures, and that bachelor politicians, especially, were “narrow minded, selfish, egotistical, and cowardly.”

She further claimed that, “It’s about time to organize antibachelor clubs in this state. It should be the purpose of every young woman to look up the record of each and every man who is looking for votes and, should his moral character be such would make him unfit for office, then his shortcoming should be the point of attack by the antibachelor women of Massachusetts. There are 47,000 girls between the ages of 20 and 29 years in this state who cannot find husbands… [and] the bachelor politicians, they do not dare discuss the social evil question.”

Part of her remedy was to have bachelors excluded from employment in prominent public sector positions. Her second punishment proposed a universal bachelor tax of $10 per year be applied,  amounting to between 1-4 weeks of the average wage, with the proceeds to provide living standards for ‘unmarried maidens’ orphans and the poor. In 1911, Mrs. Smith was still spruiking the tax on bachelors, claiming statistics showed that 60% of eligible men in Massachusetts never married, especially men of “small means” because “in order to be popular at the club now it is necessary for a man to have one or two automobiles a yacht, and two or three mistresses, but no marriage.”
Many proponents of the tax believed that it would encourage marriage and thereby reduce the state’s burden to care for those who did not financially support themselves. Perhaps most importantly Mrs. Smith felt that the tax would lower the number of men “who go around making love to young girls”.
Related Reading:

I Found My Email Address on the Ashley Madison Website

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Yesterday I read an article in a major local newspaper about one of their reporters finding his name on the Canadian-founded Ashley Madison dating site. Apparently, they even had the newspapers email address for his contact information. The reporter could not figure out how they got it. Right–well I know why–because one of my long lost email addresses is also on that same list.

I signed up a few years ago with very little information and no credit card info to write a story I was doing for Open Salon. But then again, I was also on farmersonly.com and dateazombie.com for a short period of time also doing research. Please note, I take my writing very seriously and am fearless when I write a story. Even though I requested they remove my name from Ashley Madison’s email list three days after the story was written; (and never heard from them again) the email address is still there. Let that be a lesson, if you have something to hide, your history is never wiped clean on the internet.

So now that the cat is out of the bag—one only has to ask what self-righteous, morality-policing, “sin”-protesting preachers, politicians, and hypocrites will be on this list? Better entertainment could hardly be imagined! Do we really care if other people are having an affair? Who is anyone to judge? Some people are going to be shocked when they find out both their husband and wife are on the site!

Why don’t these “internet Robin Hoods” do something useful? Clear some debts, give us higher credit scores, give someone an A on their finals. Apparently, customers are very hurt that these hackers would betray their trust and loyalty by revealing such information. Well honey, the karma train has just rolled into the station. Why would you blast all your info on a website during a day and age when everything is easily leaked and hacked? When you sign up, you are taking that risk–it’s common sense. No pity for those who lead their lives with hormones and sex drives.

Thirty-five and a half MILLION users worldwide. Should we call this hacking terrorism? People aren’t breaking the law by using this site or owning these sites. The hackers are breaking the law because they disagree with the sites’ owners and content. As I found out when I was researching the site- it was nothing but a cesspool. I was actually appalled at some of the stuff I saw, and it takes a lot to shake my apple tree.

Did some of these users begin to see themselves making a bad mistake, walk back from the brink and have a new appreciation for their S/O? A straying mind, temporary marital strife, lack of perspective and too much free time could have landed many people signing up for the site before realizing it was a mistake. Many of those people will now be outed – and their lives potentially ruined. And they say gay marriage is hurting the institution of heterosexual marriage?

Cheating is morally wrong – but it isn’t illegal. It is grounds for divorce- but we will never know the back story of every person being outed and why they were on the site. But again, in reality, it was, and always will be cheating. The new motto is: if you were not on Ashley Madison, you don’t have to worry. If you were, get a divorce attorney if you can’t work things out. I am personally hoping Charlie Sheen will say it was him, take the rap, and everyone will just move on with their lives.

If you don’t want someone to find out what you are doing, don’t do it. If you’re dumb enough to cheat via a website and think you’re infallible, then you deserve it. Don’t have an affair then. Especially via the internet.

Buy Linda Secaspina’s Books— Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac– Tilting the Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place and 4 others on Amazon or Amazon Canada or Wisteria at 62 Bridge Street in Carleton Place

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I Can’t Date You If

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If you have been on Divorce Court more that once.

If you show up with a loaded gun on the first date and fire warning shots at the slow waiter; I generally don’t pursue things any further.

If you have an STD I can’t date you, and I insist on seeing lab tests results.

I can’t date you until the Botox wears off so I can show you I’m interested.

If you can’t contribute to a decision involving both of us: “Umm I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

If you know all the women in the bar.

If eat your own boogers– isn’t that one in the Bible?
If you express your feelings to social networks before you tell me about them.

If you have green teeth and they are facing north, south, east, and west.

After-a-bad-date

If you are my sister, first cousin, or under 12 years old. (not valid in Mississippi)

If your family reunions are held at ‘Jimbo’s Topless Joint.’

If you ‘just love’ your dogs, all 42 of them.

If you have underwear that is older than your Grandmother, or once belonged to your Grandmother.

If you don’t appreciate the McDonalds dollar menu.

If you think women should be a thin as a heroin addict or a 12 year old boy with a girl’s face and hair. It isn’t is healthy – period.

If your seasonal bath involves a midnight trip to the car wash.

My Father said not to date anymore as the backyard is almost full.

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I Can’t Believe She Left Me for Channing Tatum!

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An email friend once told me her husband told her he was going out to purchase cigarettes at 10 pm one night. Odd? Not really unless you hear the rest of the story. He never came back! There will always be bad breakup stories but some of these lines you will not believe!

1. “I got a new job, I’ll call you when I get settled.” Yep, never heard from him again.

2. “I think I might be pregnant. And its not yours”!

3. “You are financially undesirable.”

4. “I was just going to wait for you to die, but that was taking too long”.

5. “Hey your GF changed her FB status from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘complicated’!”

6. “I like you so much that I would need a life time to tell you that, and that’s too long.”

7. “I’m dating someone else. If only I were in love with just one girl, not two.”

8. “I need to be more efficient with my time”

9. “You don’t look as you did on Christian Mingle. God Bless”!

10. “I don’t want to hold you back”.

11.”Maybe this break up will be good for you, since you’ve never really experienced pain before.”

12. “Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes!”

13. “I’ve never lived on my own before and I feel like it’s something I should do.” (He is 41 years old!)

14. “The distance simply isn’t going to work, and I’m sorry about all the promises I couldn’t keep. If I told you I loved you, I’d only be lying to you and myself. You’re a good girl, find someone who will make you forget me. I will be cutting off all contact, I suggest you do the same. Stay strong.”

My worst breakup line?
1974- Downtown Ottawa- Pestalozzi College Residence- 10 man unit. ( I was the only female)

Sensitive soul asks me out on a date. Compasionate Linda cannot say no as she hates hurting people’s feelings, so agrees to go to a Donovan concert. Spends a completely miserable time sneezing uncontrollably from all the patchouli he wears. The Donovan fan comes back to my room for tea so I can figure out how to let him down easy. Four of the nine man unit bang on my door and want to watch Born Free so I tell him to hide in the closet while I try to get rid of them. They do not take no for an answer and the poor sap sits in the closet for a good 90 minutes. They finally leave and he begins to cry begging me to date him again. I look at him and say,” I will always love you, but I just don’t like you very much.” I still cannot believe I did that. Life isn’t for the weak, and love isn’t for cowards.