Tag Archives: clothes

No! That’s NOT just MY size!

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No! That’s NOT just MY size!

My very first job when I was young and thin was working as an assistant fashion designer in a children’s wear firm. It was not glamorous work but I gained a lot of much needed experience. My job was to make patterns for their personal designer who was never going to leave unless she was sliced and diced.Even in those days they had an official Canadian children’s sizing chart that clothing companies had to adhere to. When you bought your kids clothing you knew that a size 2 was a size 2 no matter what company produced it. So what ever happened to the women’s clothing industry?

I can buy three pairs of jeans in the same size and when I get them home good luck getting two pairs of them on. Jean companies advertise how advanced their fits are and call them “Just Your Size”. Well, I tell you what jean companies- they are not “Just Your Size” but I assume they might fit someone else!When I opened my own clothing store years later I had to assure customers that some companies made their clothing way too small and if you needed a size 9 you might as well try on a 13. Sometimes I had to comfort many a customer because they thought they had gained weight.

More women have developed eating disorders over the size of clothing than anything else. Retail stores do not help either with their skinny mirrors. These mirrors are not a piece of fiction – they do exist and are a threat to our ‘fat bottomed nation’. When my store took over the main floor once occupied by a major Canadian fashion chain I warned everyone about the mirrors. They were all built on a slight angle and everyone looking at their reflection appeared 5-7 pounds thinner.

The fashion designers do not help either and even the aging ones seem to feel everyone over 40 should be a size 2 or a 6 at the most. Can these people not design anything that does not accentuate our prime ‘muffins tops’ and the ‘bicycle racks’ we proudly wear on our upper backsides? Let alone the horrible matronly prints they use; heck that would be another book in itself.What are you fashion people thinking and are you all blind?

A store I would personally like to shake my finger at is that huge pink lingerie chain, who feels they offer women the best in intimate apparel. Maybe they do but are they really thinking children’s sizes instead of someone who is packing some cleavage and the results of a family meal or two? If you order a bra from their mail order catalog you will notice a huge difference from a similar item that you purchase from one of their retail stores. Sizing seems to be different and the side boning is awful. A few wears and a wash and those under wires are going to be digging for gold in your armpits for hours.

When Subway advertises a foot long sandwich it is a true foot long. Why is it so hard for the fashion industry to get this through their thick skulls? Thanks to all of you (Subway excluded) I had eating disorders all my life trying to get into clothing that you made way too small. Now I am ancient and I just tell everyone I am a “4 dressed up as a 9″. Okay maybe NEVER a 9 but I wear something comfortable that is really just my size and not yours!

“Sex in the Pan” Memories – A RIP Fashion Violation Photo Essay

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December 2012– I absolutely do not care for those makeover shows, and I can honestly say I hate them. Is it necessary to throw someone semi-naked in front of 3D mirrors when they know exactly what image they will see?  Of course the individual is not surprised at what’s looking back at her, but the audience sure is.

According to the hosts who have way too many ideas for the poor participant; you should throw out clothes that you have not worn in five years. I beg your pardon?

I will admit I sold a lot of my clothes years ago to vintage stores in the bay area after I closed my Rideau Street store Flash Cadilac– like the dominatrix hat that went along with the Fluevog shoes and boots. The 67 units belonging to the bra population I had ended up becoming just a small village of a few dozen. I used to stand tall, had very unique clothes and proudly wore a lifetime of fashion ridicule badges. Yes, more ridiculous than now.:)

So leave me alone makeover shows, and let me remember forever that I once wore “Sex in The Pan Clothes” and loved them.

 

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Below are things I refuse to throw out and they are going to the grave with me. UPDATES along with them:)

 

 

This is an eyebrow brush I found in Cleveland, Ohio. To be more specific, I had lost mine and found this particular one in the middle of a dance floor in “the flats”. I rescued it from its sure demise in 1991 and I still use it every single day.

It does not look much better than the day I found it. I call it my Folk Art Brush.

Be very jealous Antiques Roadshow!

2015 Update-Still have it and use it every single day.

 

 

I bought this at a Power Station concert in 1985. It has yellowed, smells of a cedar drawer and reminds me of the love I once had for Andy Taylor. It did not matter if he was a cocaine head or a complete loser– I just knew that he really ‘banged a gong” in my rock n roll heart.

2015 Update-Still have it

 

 

This outfit reminds me of the Madonna years that still carry on and I will beat this fashion dead horse until I die.  The Hi-Tek belt is still in use and people come up to me and try the change the channels when I have it on.

I once owned more bustiers than Madonna did. My favourite was a metal bra that looked like two small Chinese woks. Every time I wore it people knocked on them and asked if anyone was home.

2015 Update-Still have  everything but the bustier.“The 80s are over mom.”

 

 

“WNTW” does not like clothes that requires batteries like HSN Christmas sweaters. This is my version of battery wear. Fishnet was and still will forever be my friend! I still have so much that the population of  Pier 39 would never go without for salmon fishing.

2015 Update-Still have the belt- the fishnet lost its fish net.. ahh stretch

 

 

 

Ahh yes, Rob Zombie and the era of bodysuits. I still have five bodysuits from the Flashdance era. There is no more elastic in them and they died a long time ago. Why do I keep them? They are the very last five from a family of about 43 and have requested that they be able to stay. You just cannot throw family out!

2015 Update-Still have the Rob Zombie”rag”

 

 

 

I bought my first pair of jeans ten years ago and now never wear anything else. These are my Jean Paul Gauthier pants. I used to have a matching corset dress, but I sold it for groceries. It reminds me of a time when clothes were my life, but now living and being a good person is more important. Some occasional Gauthier thrown my way would be nice though.

2015 Update-It finally died– and with a heavy heart I tossed them.

 

 

This is the coat I bought at Holt Renfrew in Ottawa in 1985. My oldest son Schuyleur was born that year.  He is 30 now and is a clothes shopper like his mother used to be.

I still wear this coat because it is the coat that keeps on giving. The lining does look like moths had one heck of a love fest in it though.

2015 Update-Still have it.

 

 

No track suits for me, nor sweatpants. These are my Bo-Peep lace pants that I used to wear with lace up Granny Boots. I loved the way my feet looked when I wore the duo. It was almost like I had wee sheep hooves. Baaaaaaaaaaa!

The jacket was from the Delta Burke line a very long time ago and bought when Zellers had some passion left in them.

2015 Update-Still have both

 

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My favourite pants are these Carmen Miranda pants. I bought them for 2 bucks at the Oakland Coliseum flea market. I loved to walk in these pants and hear them swish. Now if I can walk and talk at the same time I am lucky.

2015 Update-Still have them and I am sure a lot of you out there have seen them many times.

 

 

So what lies in the bottom of this drawer?   According to those TV fashion mavens you are supposed to keep underwear for only six months because the elastic wears out by then. These are the remainder of the original flock and fourty four of them were let go to seek employment elsewhere. Every single one of these is of legal age to drink in any state or province.

2015 Update-ALL GONE BABY GONE

Years have passed and I no longer wear “sex in the pan” clothes as I am more of a “comfy casserole in a pan” person now. If I had listened to the rules of  those makeover shows  I would not have these memories in front of me to make me smile.

You see, I finally learned that you just cannot take this stuff with you. When you die they might throw a token in, but basically there will be no need for a metal wok bra or Fluevog shoes unless I get the shovelling coal in the furnace job in hell.

 

 

 

 

Text and Photos Linda Seccaspina 2012

 

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This “sinful” and unique dessert recipe I chose this week is like I used to be and it  is layered with puddings, cream cheese and a whole lot of whipped cream. I did not name this recipe. It was given to me by a kind church lady from St. James Anglican Church in Carleton Place, Ontario. 

    SEX IN A PAN

1 c. chopped pecans
1 c. flour
1/2 c. butter
8 oz. cream cheese
1 c. confectioners sugar
12 oz. non-dairy whipping topping, thawed
Chocolate instant pudding
Vanilla instant pudding
3 c. milk
Shaved chocolate bar
Mix pecans, flour and butter and press into 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Cool.
Mix cream cheese and sugar; spread onto crust. ( do you know how good that tastes on its own? )
Layer on 1/2 of the whipped topping. (Cool Whip.. I can remember the old Dream Whip like it was yesterday.. sigh whipped cream in a box)
Mix the chocolate instant pudding and 1 1/2 cups of the milk.
Do the same with the vanilla pudding.
Let them stand to thicken. ( If you have a cold and you take a swig of the cold milk from the jug , will others get sick? )
Layer vanilla then chocolate pudding over whipped topping.
Put the remaining whipped topping over that. (MORE MORE MORE, how do you like it, how do you like it?)
Top with shaved chocolate bar or with chopped pecans. ( if you have eaten the bar random chocolate chips will do)