Category Archives: Music

Linda’s Books

Standard

ALL BOOKS AVAILABLE IN CARLETON PLACE AT: WISTERIA in Carleton Place-Wisteria (62 Bridge St. – Carleton Place) and The Artists Loft in Smiths Falls. All are available at ALL Amazons in paperback and Kindle.

Linda’s recent book “The Tilted Kilt: Vintage Whispers from Carleton Place” (March 2015) , are for sale at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada–North Lanark Regional Museum (Appleton)-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books in Almonte and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

 

flashbacks of little miss flash cadilac

“Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac”
(May 2015) Available at amazon.com

Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac (May 2015)

There once was a store on Rideau Street in Ottawa called Flash Cadilac Clothing. After so many years, its history evaporated from my mind, until Webb Dann and Lost Ottawa showed up on Facebook and jogged my memory one too many times. I started to think, and began to remember. That experience was all about the people I loved, the people I annoyed, and the people that prayed for the customers in my store.

Flash Cadilac left an impression on many people, and of all the words written about those times, I have always loved this clip by blogger, chef, and friend, Doff Doppler (aka Devin Goulden): “In the beginning there was Flash Cadilac, a store notoriously known for its apparel: leather, lace, whips, chains, tattoos, and piercings. ”

Yes, that sets the table! Bon appétit!

(March 2015) Available at amazon.com

“Tilting the Kilt: Vintage Whispers from Carleton Place”
(March 2015) Available at amazon.com

Tilting the Kilt: Vintage Whispers from Carleton Place (March 2015)

Gossip is the civilized version of grooming each other for fleas. You can stop gossip with a simple, “That’s none of my business,” but why would you? Somewhere in our deep past we remember when cavemen gossiped over a recent kill, memorializing the one who didn’t hold up his end of the hunt. Stories begun by gossip are a significant channel of informal communication with something like 70% accuracy.

The stories gathered here in Tilting the Kilt began life within 10 miles of Carleton Place. Linda guesses that makes them close to 50% accurate. Gossip-born stories, sharing a standard currency of human connection, will make you smile, then you can pass them along, adding your own layers to make them even more spectacular.

Seccaspina-frontcover

“Cancer Always Calls Collect”
(April 2014) Available at amazon.com

Cancer Always Calls Collect (April 2014)

“It’s cancer,” he said, “and it’s not looking good.” I hung up the phone and cried because I knew there was almost nothing I could do to help — but I would see him to whatever final chapter there was, either good or bad. I would do whatever I could.

There was a pause, and then he said the word. Cancer. Immediately calling his bluff, I told him he was nuts, and probably just had ulcers. I never imagined a man of his strength being caught by vicious cancer cells — or could they penetrate the strong too? There was no way — cancer was my family’s disease, not his.

Over the phone wires, over the weeks that followed, over the thousands of miles of travel to be by his side, he told me what I had heard so many times in my life.

Naked-Yoga-cover

“Naked Yoga, Twinkies, and Celebrities”
(May 2013) Available from amazon.com

Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities (May 2013)

Find out … Who is building the Titanic ll and why? Are cell phones dangerous on airplanes? Why does Linda train woodpeckers?

Linda tears apart the weird, the wacky, and the outrageous and tells it like it is. Would you expect anything different?

CHS-cover

“Cowansville High School Misremembered”
(February 2013) Available at amazon.com

Cowansville High School Misremembered (February 2013)

When former students of Cowansville High School, plus some of those who went on to école secondaire Massey-Vanier, meet up on Facebook to gossip and reminisce, this is what you get.

Fred Allen once said, “We have to document times and places as we will always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and — I can’t remember what the third thing is.”

menopausal-woman-from-the-corn

“Menopausal Woman from the Corn”
(April 2012) Available from amazon.com

Menopausal Woman from the Corn (April 2012)


Stories Your Mother Was Afraid to Tell You – or Forgot:

Linda attempts to find just the right dressing room to try on her life … preferably one with good lighting!

I Need Holy Water -The Hangman’s Ball Ottawa 1992

Standard

There were a lot of doubters when I initially talked about organizing and sponsoring a Death Metal music extravaganza in June of 1992. Most said, “You call this torrent of violence music?” There was definitely a burgeoning Death Metal scene in Ottawa in the early 90’s, and some overheard in-store conversations wondered if it had anything to do with Satan. After I heard the Satanic comment one too many times I told one customer,

“Of course it is Satanic! I’ve already killed 8 people, using nothing but a wooden spoon and a jar of peanut butter, inverted 2 rabbits, maimed a cow, and glued a litter of kittens to the sidewalk.”

After getting the final word that it would be a failure from Ottawa music icon Shawn Scallen, I set out to prove him wrong. The bands and I began having meetings in the basement of the store. For metal heads, these guys were clever, hardworking, and really stood by their local music scene.

While most people associate Death Metal Music with a bunch of guys screaming, and creating random noise, there’s a multitude of reasons why Death Metal is loved by some. There are melodies, patterns, and complexities to be realized and appreciated, if enough time is spent soaking it all in. It takes practice and dedication, which challenges the stereotype of metal heads being lazy and careless. If you think it’s just a bunch of noise, and you call yourself a guitarist, download a tablature of just about any Vital Remains song and try to keep up.

Ever wondered what Cannibal Corpse’s ‘Frantic Disembowelment’ sounds like played on a Ukulele? Well, you most certainly would not have found out that night. The show started at 8 pm at Off Limits in the Byward Market. At 4 pm we found ourselves cleaning up the bar that had not been touched since the day before. At 7 pm the doors opened, and there stood a line up outside the door.

It was an all ages event, with booze served to those over 19. The hands of kids barely 4.5 feet tall were stamped as they carefully paid for their ticket in change. It was going to be a sell out. Shawn came in and shook my hand, and was amazed so many of Satan’s minions would turn up for such an event. Personally, I was worried about the aftermath of the concert. Would these kids need to go torch a church, or drink some goat blood or something?

Death metal is an extreme subgenre of heavy metal music, and not for everyone. It typically employs heavily distorted and low tuned guitars, played with techniques such as: palm muting, tremolo picking, and aggressive, powerful drumming– featuring double kick or blast beat techniques. I swear the ‘harmonies’ of these bands kill me every time. It’s an iconic harsh style of singing. Low and grumbly screaming, and the word “Die” is used frequently. Those who claim that the vocalists are talentless however, are utterly moronic in their comments. Obviously, they haven’t tried reaching the guttural lows and shrieking highs that the experienced metal vocalist is capable of.

Sometimes, when riffs got way too fast that night, I was worried that some of the smaller patrons would screw their ‘little horns” up banging their heads around in the mosh pit. But then, there was that occasional “bass face” the minions made when they heard a good drop in a song melody that just put everything into perspective.

Set changes that night sometimes took over 30 minutes between bands, as none of the enormous drum kits had what I call ‘little man syndrome’. Considering how mechanical and over-triggered a lot of extreme metal drumming has become I would also like to point out: while Deathcore uses breakdowns, which is rare in Death Metal, Death Metal talks smack about the high-hat and playing snare as fast as possible.

Death metal to this day is still non-mainstream. It’s musicians have to work incredibly hard for their career sales to reach even a million copies (which very few death metal musicians have actually done). But, I must admit that after hearing all those bands for hours that night I had to smile at a young future music critic:

“You think Satan would be like, “Okay, yes, that is brutal, soul-destroying, Christ-crushing music, but, dude…yougotsta stay in key!”

Without music, of any kind, life would be a mistake. Rock on!

Linda Seccaspina-2015

Dedicated to Andrew, Adrian and Blair

Chapter in my 6th book called: Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac – out this summer.

aflashdd

The 1st and only Hangman’s Ball – June 27, 1992.

Sponsored by: Ace Magazine, Flash Cadilac, CKCU, and Record Runner

Bands:

Gorguts- still rockin’ on

Gorguts is a technical death metal band from Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada. The band was formed in 1989; it’s only constant member has been Luc Lemay. One of the best technical death metal bands on the earth!

Zealous Witness –1990 –1996

Based in Clayton ON

Technical Thrash Metal

Last label:Unsigned/independent

Macifecation-1991-1993

Macifecation was a death metal band from Ontario, Canada that formed in 1991. Shrine of the Mortalities, their only release, was released in 1992. Singer died in car crash in 1994.

Location:

Ingersoll, Ontario

Status:Split-up

Formed in:1991

Genre:Death Metal/Grindcore

Last label:Unsigned/independent

Red Nails

Location:Ottawa, Ontario

Status:Split-up

Formed in:1991

Genre:Thrash Metal

Lyrical themes:N/A

Last label:Unsigned/independent

Years active:1991-

Mutiny of a Small Group of Lemmings

Distemper

From Ottawa, Ontario

No other information.

Midevil-1988-?

Other release:

Live Shows (VHS Video) – 1990
Sarkasm

1990 (as Traumatism), 1990 (as Sarcasm), 1990-?, 2012-present

Originally formed in July ’90 under the moniker Traumatism. Most recently reunited in 2012.

Put out a comp in 2012