Too Hot For Teacher Linda Knight Seccaspina
Hard to remember those days, but there I am in Grade 3 –third row, number 4- big smile–blonde Bette Page haircut– soon to have massive dental work done in the 1990s. On the top right hand corner lies our beloved teacher Miss Righton from Cowansville High School. Everyone loved her, especially the boys. There were only two teachers that my fellow male classmates considered ‘’too hot for teacher” when I went to school and they were: Grade 2 teacher Miss Spicer, and my Grade 3 teacher Miss Righton. In a sea of the matronly and the spinsters were two teaching women that wore stiletto shoes and petticoats that peeked out of their 50’s circle skirts. Remember Van Halen’s music video “Too Hot for Teacher” in 1984? I wondered if anyone ever had a teacher like the video model Lillian Muller in their lifetime.
As I looked in the mirror today I wondered if Miss Righton still looked the same way– or was she still alive? Even though I still think I see the same young person in the mirror at age 70, I know that I am gazing at a mirage. By the looks of also 70 year-old Muller she has had some Botox, a wee bit of plastic surgery (she denies it) and some media photos of herself appear photoshopped.
When I Googled her I was relieved to also find a few unflattering pictures of her. One has to imagine that there has to be a little something sagging under those clothes, and where the heck was her bellybutton on one website photo. Once again, the miracles of Photoshop mysteriously eliminated another body part of a celebrity.
Many years later Muller has made a career as an inspirational speaker and author. Unlike Miss Righton and myself, she has been a raw food vegetarian since she was 27 and has never had a drink in her life. When Muller auditioned for the Van Halen video she thought she wouldn’t get the part because she was 30 at the time. Now, at the
same exact age as myself she is now posing for senior publications instead of Playboy, but really she has not changed much.
Miss Righton and I had parts in the Cowansville Elementary School Grade 3 “stick, triangle and tambourine” band while Muller went on to star as Rod Stewart’s affection in “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” video in 1978. Muller also posed in matching white bikinis for a photo shoot with her 21 year-old daughter before she went to college. I can feel quite positive in saying that there is no way that Miss Righton and I followed suit.
Muller is still acting and became the author of “Feel Great, Be Beautiful Over 40” in 1995. She was never married, even though she dated “Magnum P.I.” star Tom Selleck and Hugh Hefner. If I do remember correctly Miss Righton married a country lad, and let’s not get started about my private affairs.
As I pop my second Arthritis pain caplet into my mouth I salute her and former teacher Miss Righton. Do we women really want to look like Muller and have to maintain an illusion on a daily basis? Personally, I’d rather be me; and besides George Clooney said he was comfortable looking older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. High five to that!