The New Year’s Present

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Photo- Linda Seccaspina

 

For anyone that has a dog or had one or knows one

The new after-Christmas rug was Wedgewood Blue and bristly in touch, almost like the back of a porcupine. In the centre of this spectacular piece of decor that everyone hated but me was a delicate white snowflake. I cherished this new acquisition and opened the door several times to gaze at my precious find. This rug would last for many years I thought to myself, was invincible, and on sale.

The next day I could immediately smell what was on that festive mat before I opened the door to admire it. As I walked to the front door in slow motion, my nostrils filled with a scent so putrid that I immediately threw on the exhaust fan on my way over. Sitting in the centre of my inexpensive prize was a pile of joy the size of metropolitan Toronto.Who and what created this perfect masterpiece perched on top of the delicate snowflake? Did this animal not share my thoughts on the Holidays? The rug now had no where to go now but the dumpster. Who would ruin my treasured mat? What or who could do such a thing?

Ten minutes later I saw HIM in the hall running without a care. A dog, visiting my neighbour, sporting a fashionable festive hoodie had to be the culprit. As his collar jingled like Santa he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. We both spoke silently with our eyes locked and suddenly I found myself filled with angry vocabulary not suitable for any time of the year. The dog now with downtrodden eyes, sucked himself closely to the wall as he passed by me. I glared at him as he walked by with apprehension and screamed,

“You little ^&*&$% !!!! Don’t do that again or Santa is not going to buy you any treats!”

Not wanting to have yet another disappointment over a door mat I found something suitable at a second hand shop. Costing more than my Walmart special, it was plain, brown, and obscure, and should last me through the next decade.The top of the mat read:

 

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THE DOG – DAY 751–My captors continue to torment me with bizarre rubber squeak toys. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape–that and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of furniture.I fear I may be going insane!

Yes, I thought to myself, this new rug will last at least through the Christmas season. It has no colour, or feel of the outdoors. It is a rug that does not tease or beckon anything on four legs. It is fool proof! The next morning the replacement rug was ceremoniously marched to the dumpster. Once again the bladder and bowels of the visiting creature had hit the mark and I no longer cared.

A $2.99 Ikea green and black stripe door mat found on page 39 of the Ikea catalogue became the final replacement. I seriously considered putting a “No Dumping” sign by my door. The next day I spied my furry friend running through the hall once again sporting yet another odd-ball hoodie. Our eyes met instantly, and after I slammed the door, I silently thought that no matter what I put out for a rug, this dog would always be “a rebel without a Claus”.

 

Related Reading

Till Milkbone Do Us Part

Dogs on Film at Walmart

And They Called it Puppy Love– The Waterside Story

A Message from the Rainbow Bridge

Because You Loved Me –In Memory of Bluemist Volker Aksel

In the End –All that is Left are Memories and Paper

Memoirs of a Doggie Blogger from The Valley Veterinary Clinic

Collecting Your Dog’s Urine Sample– Dedicated to the Carleton Place Valley Veterinarian Clinic

Dogs in The Pool – Girls and Boys Just Want to Have Fun!

 

Come and visit the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page– what’s there? Cool old photos–and lots of things interesting to read.

Information where you can buy all Linda Seccaspina’s books-You can also read Linda in Hometown News

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About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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