“Sex in the Pan” Memories – A RIP Fashion Violation Photo Essay

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December 2012– I absolutely do not care for those makeover shows, and I can honestly say I hate them. Is it necessary to throw someone semi-naked in front of 3D mirrors when they know exactly what image they will see?  Of course the individual is not surprised at what’s looking back at her, but the audience sure is.

According to the hosts who have way too many ideas for the poor participant; you should throw out clothes that you have not worn in five years. I beg your pardon?

I will admit I sold a lot of my clothes years ago to vintage stores in the bay area after I closed my Rideau Street store Flash Cadilac– like the dominatrix hat that went along with the Fluevog shoes and boots. The 67 units belonging to the bra population I had ended up becoming just a small village of a few dozen. I used to stand tall, had very unique clothes and proudly wore a lifetime of fashion ridicule badges. Yes, more ridiculous than now.:)

So leave me alone makeover shows, and let me remember forever that I once wore “Sex in The Pan Clothes” and loved them.

 

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Below are things I refuse to throw out and they are going to the grave with me. UPDATES along with them:)

 

 

This is an eyebrow brush I found in Cleveland, Ohio. To be more specific, I had lost mine and found this particular one in the middle of a dance floor in “the flats”. I rescued it from its sure demise in 1991 and I still use it every single day.

It does not look much better than the day I found it. I call it my Folk Art Brush.

Be very jealous Antiques Roadshow!

2015 Update-Still have it and use it every single day.

 

 

I bought this at a Power Station concert in 1985. It has yellowed, smells of a cedar drawer and reminds me of the love I once had for Andy Taylor. It did not matter if he was a cocaine head or a complete loser– I just knew that he really ‘banged a gong” in my rock n roll heart.

2015 Update-Still have it

 

 

This outfit reminds me of the Madonna years that still carry on and I will beat this fashion dead horse until I die.  The Hi-Tek belt is still in use and people come up to me and try the change the channels when I have it on.

I once owned more bustiers than Madonna did. My favourite was a metal bra that looked like two small Chinese woks. Every time I wore it people knocked on them and asked if anyone was home.

2015 Update-Still have  everything but the bustier.“The 80s are over mom.”

 

 

“WNTW” does not like clothes that requires batteries like HSN Christmas sweaters. This is my version of battery wear. Fishnet was and still will forever be my friend! I still have so much that the population of  Pier 39 would never go without for salmon fishing.

2015 Update-Still have the belt- the fishnet lost its fish net.. ahh stretch

 

 

 

Ahh yes, Rob Zombie and the era of bodysuits. I still have five bodysuits from the Flashdance era. There is no more elastic in them and they died a long time ago. Why do I keep them? They are the very last five from a family of about 43 and have requested that they be able to stay. You just cannot throw family out!

2015 Update-Still have the Rob Zombie”rag”

 

 

 

I bought my first pair of jeans ten years ago and now never wear anything else. These are my Jean Paul Gauthier pants. I used to have a matching corset dress, but I sold it for groceries. It reminds me of a time when clothes were my life, but now living and being a good person is more important. Some occasional Gauthier thrown my way would be nice though.

2015 Update-It finally died– and with a heavy heart I tossed them.

 

 

This is the coat I bought at Holt Renfrew in Ottawa in 1985. My oldest son Schuyleur was born that year.  He is 30 now and is a clothes shopper like his mother used to be.

I still wear this coat because it is the coat that keeps on giving. The lining does look like moths had one heck of a love fest in it though.

2015 Update-Still have it.

 

 

No track suits for me, nor sweatpants. These are my Bo-Peep lace pants that I used to wear with lace up Granny Boots. I loved the way my feet looked when I wore the duo. It was almost like I had wee sheep hooves. Baaaaaaaaaaa!

The jacket was from the Delta Burke line a very long time ago and bought when Zellers had some passion left in them.

2015 Update-Still have both

 

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My favourite pants are these Carmen Miranda pants. I bought them for 2 bucks at the Oakland Coliseum flea market. I loved to walk in these pants and hear them swish. Now if I can walk and talk at the same time I am lucky.

2015 Update-Still have them and I am sure a lot of you out there have seen them many times.

 

 

So what lies in the bottom of this drawer?   According to those TV fashion mavens you are supposed to keep underwear for only six months because the elastic wears out by then. These are the remainder of the original flock and fourty four of them were let go to seek employment elsewhere. Every single one of these is of legal age to drink in any state or province.

2015 Update-ALL GONE BABY GONE

Years have passed and I no longer wear “sex in the pan” clothes as I am more of a “comfy casserole in a pan” person now. If I had listened to the rules of  those makeover shows  I would not have these memories in front of me to make me smile.

You see, I finally learned that you just cannot take this stuff with you. When you die they might throw a token in, but basically there will be no need for a metal wok bra or Fluevog shoes unless I get the shovelling coal in the furnace job in hell.

 

 

 

 

Text and Photos Linda Seccaspina 2012

 

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This “sinful” and unique dessert recipe I chose this week is like I used to be and it  is layered with puddings, cream cheese and a whole lot of whipped cream. I did not name this recipe. It was given to me by a kind church lady from St. James Anglican Church in Carleton Place, Ontario. 

    SEX IN A PAN

1 c. chopped pecans
1 c. flour
1/2 c. butter
8 oz. cream cheese
1 c. confectioners sugar
12 oz. non-dairy whipping topping, thawed
Chocolate instant pudding
Vanilla instant pudding
3 c. milk
Shaved chocolate bar
Mix pecans, flour and butter and press into 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Cool.
Mix cream cheese and sugar; spread onto crust. ( do you know how good that tastes on its own? )
Layer on 1/2 of the whipped topping. (Cool Whip.. I can remember the old Dream Whip like it was yesterday.. sigh whipped cream in a box)
Mix the chocolate instant pudding and 1 1/2 cups of the milk.
Do the same with the vanilla pudding.
Let them stand to thicken. ( If you have a cold and you take a swig of the cold milk from the jug , will others get sick? )
Layer vanilla then chocolate pudding over whipped topping.
Put the remaining whipped topping over that. (MORE MORE MORE, how do you like it, how do you like it?)
Top with shaved chocolate bar or with chopped pecans. ( if you have eaten the bar random chocolate chips will do)

 

 

 

About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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