December 2012– I absolutely do not care for those makeover shows, and I can honestly say I hate them. Is it necessary to throw someone semi-naked in front of 3D mirrors when they know exactly what image they will see? Of course the individual is not surprised at what’s looking back at her, but the audience sure is.
According to the hosts who have way too many ideas for the poor participant; you should throw out clothes that you have not worn in five years. I beg your pardon?
I will admit I sold a lot of my clothes years ago to vintage stores in the bay area after I closed my Rideau Street store Flash Cadilac– like the dominatrix hat that went along with the Fluevog shoes and boots. The 67 units belonging to the bra population I had ended up becoming just a small village of a few dozen. I used to stand tall, had very unique clothes and proudly wore a lifetime of fashion ridicule badges. Yes, more ridiculous than now.:)
So leave me alone makeover shows, and let me remember forever that I once wore “Sex in The Pan Clothes” and loved them.
Below are things I refuse to throw out and they are going to the grave with me. UPDATES along with them:)
This is an eyebrow brush I found in Cleveland, Ohio. To be more specific, I had lost mine and found this particular one in the middle of a dance floor in “the flats”. I rescued it from its sure demise in 1991 and I still use it every single day.
It does not look much better than the day I found it. I call it my Folk Art Brush.
Be very jealous Antiques Roadshow!
2015 Update-Still have it and use it every single day.
I bought this at a Power Station concert in 1985. It has yellowed, smells of a cedar drawer and reminds me of the love I once had for Andy Taylor. It did not matter if he was a cocaine head or a complete loser– I just knew that he really ‘banged a gong” in my rock n roll heart.
2015 Update-Still have it
This outfit reminds me of the Madonna years that still carry on and I will beat this fashion dead horse until I die. The Hi-Tek belt is still in use and people come up to me and try the change the channels when I have it on.
I once owned more bustiers than Madonna did. My favourite was a metal bra that looked like two small Chinese woks. Every time I wore it people knocked on them and asked if anyone was home.
2015 Update-Still have everything but the bustier.“The 80s are over mom.”
“WNTW” does not like clothes that requires batteries like HSN Christmas sweaters. This is my version of battery wear. Fishnet was and still will forever be my friend! I still have so much that the population of Pier 39 would never go without for salmon fishing.
2015 Update-Still have the belt- the fishnet lost its fish net.. ahh stretch
Ahh yes, Rob Zombie and the era of bodysuits. I still have five bodysuits from the Flashdance era. There is no more elastic in them and they died a long time ago. Why do I keep them? They are the very last five from a family of about 43 and have requested that they be able to stay. You just cannot throw family out!
2015 Update-Still have the Rob Zombie”rag”
I bought my first pair of jeans ten years ago and now never wear anything else. These are my Jean Paul Gauthier pants. I used to have a matching corset dress, but I sold it for groceries. It reminds me of a time when clothes were my life, but now living and being a good person is more important. Some occasional Gauthier thrown my way would be nice though.
2015 Update-It finally died– and with a heavy heart I tossed them.
This is the coat I bought at Holt Renfrew in Ottawa in 1985. My oldest son Schuyleur was born that year. He is 30 now and is a clothes shopper like his mother used to be.
I still wear this coat because it is the coat that keeps on giving. The lining does look like moths had one heck of a love fest in it though.
2015 Update-Still have it.
No track suits for me, nor sweatpants. These are my Bo-Peep lace pants that I used to wear with lace up Granny Boots. I loved the way my feet looked when I wore the duo. It was almost like I had wee sheep hooves. Baaaaaaaaaaa!
The jacket was from the Delta Burke line a very long time ago and bought when Zellers had some passion left in them.
2015 Update-Still have both
My favourite pants are these Carmen Miranda pants. I bought them for 2 bucks at the Oakland Coliseum flea market. I loved to walk in these pants and hear them swish. Now if I can walk and talk at the same time I am lucky.
2015 Update-Still have them and I am sure a lot of you out there have seen them many times.
So what lies in the bottom of this drawer? According to those TV fashion mavens you are supposed to keep underwear for only six months because the elastic wears out by then. These are the remainder of the original flock and fourty four of them were let go to seek employment elsewhere. Every single one of these is of legal age to drink in any state or province.
2015 Update-ALL GONE BABY GONE
Years have passed and I no longer wear “sex in the pan” clothes as I am more of a “comfy casserole in a pan” person now. If I had listened to the rules of those makeover shows I would not have these memories in front of me to make me smile.
You see, I finally learned that you just cannot take this stuff with you. When you die they might throw a token in, but basically there will be no need for a metal wok bra or Fluevog shoes unless I get the shovelling coal in the furnace job in hell.
Text and Photos Linda Seccaspina 2012
This “sinful” and unique dessert recipe I chose this week is like I used to be and it is layered with puddings, cream cheese and a whole lot of whipped cream. I did not name this recipe. It was given to me by a kind church lady from St. James Anglican Church in Carleton Place, Ontario.
SEX IN A PAN
1 c. flour
1/2 c. butter
8 oz. cream cheese
1 c. confectioners sugar
12 oz. non-dairy whipping topping, thawed
Chocolate instant pudding
Vanilla instant pudding
3 c. milk
Shaved chocolate bar