My Worst Nightmare – How MIGHTY is the MOUSE?


One of my worst fears since childhood is to sit down on a toilet seat and have some rodent or snake crawl up the side of the bowl and bite me. When I was a teenager my friend’s younger brother convinced my late sister this was going to happen in their basement toilet. So not only did she learn to go really fast, she always puts the lid down.

Each time I hear these stories I literally freak out, so when I read about the couple in the UK claiming a rat had been showing up regularly in their toilet for more than nine months I am back to checking toilets again. The bathroom is the most vulnerable room in your house with brightly lit mirrors that reveal your hidden flaws and it also where you expose your most private parts to the porcelain end of a sewage system.

Mr. and Mrs. Woods, say the problem began last October, when their daughter told them a rat climbed out of their toilet and ran around the house. Now the rat the couple has affectionately named “Roland” has been poking its head out of the toilet bowl almost every night.

“We are petrified to go to the toilet,” Margaret told the media.

No kidding Sherlock! If that was me I would have been “rol-and” out of the house way before things became a first name basis with Chuck E. Cheese. The Woods contacted their utility company in March, but the company did not investigate until three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago? Government agency I presume? By this time “Roland” has probably brought the ‘missus’ over and begun procreating. The professionals suggest staying calm, keeping the lid down, and squirt dish soap into the toilet to degrease “the oils on the rat’s fur so it cannot stay afloat,” before flushing multiple times. Good to know!

Look at the bright side, at least your pipes aren’t clogged.  Personally, I’d just place rat poison in the toilet at night, and shut the lid. Now I am never going to get rid of the feeling that someone is looking at me from down under.

This photo is from my UK friend Victoria Norris. She caught this rat yesterday and posted it on Facebook. Ratty had been interferring with her Hedgehog dinners.


I finally caught Ratty! (well, it’s a rat – actual Ratty is much bigger than this so is still on the loose!). He’s creating merry hell at the moment, so I need to drive him to Wicken Fen to release him asap – hopefully that will be far enough away to stop him coming back! I do feel bad that I’ve probably split up a happy family (I initially thought it might be Ratty’s Mrs, but upon closer inspection it would appear to be his son lol) but at least he’ll live to see another day…and Hedgy will have one less critter stealing his dinner-Victoria Norris

Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac by Linda Seccaspina available at Wisteria 62 Bridge Street in Carleton Place or on Amazon.

All Linda Seccaspina’s books here



About lindaseccaspina

Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda was a fashion designer, and then owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa on Rideau Street from 1976-1996. She also did clothing for various media and worked on “You Can’t do that on Television”. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off on American media she finally found her calling. She is a weekly columnist for the Sherbrooke Record and documents history every single day and has over 6500 blogs about Lanark County and Ottawa and an enormous weekly readership. Linda has published six books and is in her 4th year as a town councillor for Carleton Place. She believes in community and promoting business owners because she believes she can, so she does.

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