Time to Plant those Marijuana Crops? The Intervention of the Grow-Op Bears by 90210

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Last night a helicopter flew over my house after dinner and it made me think of summer. Ahh, how I have missed the noise of their propellers and their big lights as they search for Marijuana fields hidden among the corn crops in Lanark County. A few years ago I wrote this story and it reminded me that we must also think of protecting our local bears from the evils of drugs.ūüôā

On July 30th, Canadian police officers made a routine drug raid in a remote area of British Columbia.

When the Police arrived 13 bears were guarding 2300 marijuana plants. The bears were pretty docile, and listening to the Grateful Dead while munching on blueberries, and chugging Molson Canadian beer.

Daily rations of dog food had been fed to them by the owners of the property, so they were there to stay. They actually welcomed the police with high fives and a traditional “Welcome eh?”

Being Canadian, they were extremely polite, and swore to the Police that none of them had inhaled.

No animals were harmed during the raid that¬†included a pot-bellied pig and a raccoon that was taking a nap in one of the farmhouse’s bedrooms. The raccoon told them he was actually guarding the stash on the night table. He too was polite to the officers, and asked one of them,

“Hey man, are you going to eat those Cheetos?”

Upon exiting the farmhouse, the bears were found outside sharing Hostess potatoe chips and playing road hockey. The police were shocked to find a few familiar furry faces among the crowd of bears.
Out of work bears such as: Conan’s Masturbating Bear, and Yogi and Boo Boo were trying to hide their faces from the paparazzi that had followed the police.

Boo Boo was crying and told Yogi that he was afraid that the Jellystone National Park Ranger was also going to bust them if he found out. Yogi stood there with a dumb grin on his face and giggled,

“Don’t worry Boo Boo. I’m higher than the average bear!”

The Care Bears argued with the officers that they had used only medical marijuana and had a permission note from the local Veterinarian. The police attempted conversations with the bears, insisting they should consider applying to A&E’s show “Intervention”. The bears looked at the officers in jest and asked them,

“Does a¬†bear smoke pot in the woods?‚ÄĚ

In yesterday’s¬†issue of “Toke of the Town” Jason Priestley of 90210 famehas vowed to save the BC Marijuana bears. Priestley and his parents have actually donated $1,250 of their own money to the cause.

“It’s one thing to have a petition and have a lot of really nice ideas and a warm, fuzzy response”, Priestley said. “We kind of figured somebody’s got to start putting up the money to either move the bears someplace where they’ll be safe or support a place where they’ll be safe.”

 

(Quote from Toke of the Town)

When asked if Priestly thought he had a good chance saving the bears he said,

“I’m¬†just a student body president man, I am not Batman.” !
– Brandon Walsh 90210

Dorreen McCrindle started a Help Save the BC Bears Facebook page, and through a petition, has drawn hundreds of signatures to help save the bears.

Donate to the Help Save the BC Black Bears

Words by Linda Seccaspina 2010

Image by Canadian Press

About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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