Should Cows and Smart Cars be Tipped?

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Is cow tipping possible?

Read what the Lanark Farming Blog says:

There is detailed research buried in the University of British Columbia archives which suggests that the idea of knocking over a standing cow just doesn’t stand up. I had no idea people were tipping cows solo as I always heard of it as a medium-sized group activity.  I know for a fact, from personal experience, that 1/2 a dozen highly motivated and very drunk rural high school boys were able to tip over a cow years ago.  Of course riding a hog didn’t go as well.
Unless you are familiar with farm animals please note: cows do not sleep standing up. What’s more, simple physics suggests the force of a single person is hardly enough to cause a standing cow to topple over.

“Two could do it in theory,” Dr. Margo Lillie, a zoology professor at the university, told Modern Farmer. “But it’s not going to be easy, and as soon as the cow responds by bracing herself or leaning into you — which she will do — it will be even harder.

I used to visit my cousin’s cattle farm as a child in Iron Hill and I saw the most bizarre thing. The farmer, his two sons, and a full time guy were all running around with sticks, whacking cows on their backsides. Turned out the cows had punched through a fence and wandered into an apple orchard. Well, it was fall, and there were apples rotting on the ground, and there were about 30 freaked-out cows tipping over all on their own. The job of the day was keeping them from falling over and possibly breaking a rib or three. It was hours before they got them back to the barn. Then they had to milk them and throw away the milk of the many hammered cows.

In the city of San Francisco, cows do not meander around similar to the streets of India, and when it comes time for some of the common folk to express themselves, they are left with tipping Smart Cars on their sides. Last year some bay area citizens have a buried “screw you” in their minds to progress, particularly environmentally conscious automobile owners. The NBC Bay Area News spoke to an eyewitnesses who claimed 6 to 8 people in hoodies committed a few of these acts–which soon spread all around town like a bad case of the measles.

“They looked like they were up to no good,” according to one witness. “And sure enough, they huddled around the small car and lifted it up.” Cow tipping can be possible, but smart cars should be left alone.

Would I ever tip a cow?

I think I would try to keep it at 15%. You know that when parties of 5 or more are involved, a tip of 18% is added automatically, unless the service is inadequate in which case I guess you just have to talk to the farmer.

smart

You can actually buy smart cars here in Carleton Place if you want to go racing and tipping. Just check them out on Highway 7 at Motorhouse Mitsubishi. See the two Blue Jays fans in the picture below. I have no idea who the guy on the right is- but the lad on the left looks honest- so go talk to Blair.

blair

About lindaseccaspina

Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda was a fashion designer, and then owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa on Rideau Street from 1976-1996. She also did clothing for various media and worked on “You Can’t do that on Television”. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off on American media she finally found her calling. She is a weekly columnist for the Sherbrooke Record and documents history every single day and has over 6500 blogs about Lanark County and Ottawa and an enormous weekly readership. Linda has published six books and is in her 4th year as a town councillor for Carleton Place. She believes in community and promoting business owners because she believes she can, so she does.

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