Want to Be a Food Network Star? It’s Not All It’s Chopped Up to Be!

Life is not all fun and games working in a restaurant. Just because life looks glamorous on the Food Network, is that what it’s like in real life? Our local chef Dusty Pettes from Ballygiblin’s wrote a blog about what life is like in the real war zone of a commercial kitchen. He called it:

What you can expect from working in a professional kitchen..

A summary of some of the fun ways working in a kitchen changes you. They might not all apply to everyone who cooks, but I am sure there are a few of the things on the list people in my line of work can relate to.

-You’ll almost always have open wounds on your hands and arms.
-You’ll never meet new people because your social life deteriorates into non-existence.
-You’ll find it hard to start relationships because alone time will become a precious thing.
-You’ll lose your social skills.
-Your sense of humour will degrade into the politically incorrect and socially unacceptable.
-You’ll eventually start swearing like a sailor and you won’t even notice yourself fucking doing it.
-You’ll realize all your conversations go back to food.
-You’ll notice everyone you work with starts to remind you of a pirate.
-You’ll either lose a vast amount of weight or gain a vast amount of weight.
-You’ll never ever have a tan ever again.
-You’ll get more tattoos.
-You’ll develop a habit, whether it be coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, cannabis, cocaine, or even red bull.
-Your feet will get destroyed.
-Your back will get destroyed.
-Your hands will get destroyed.
-You’ll always be somewhat tired.
-No matter how many time you wash your clothes they will smell like food.
-you will be pranked and be expected to prank others.
-You’ll have to ask your friends to plan everything around your schedule, which is in complete opposition with their availability, because you never know your days off in advance and you probably won’t be able to change it.
-You’ll usually become very highly strung
-You will not tolerate people’s lack of efficiency and common sense
-You’ll spend the largest part of your life cooped up in a small, undecorated room with poor ventilation, high temperatures, a lot of noise, humidity, no natural light and no windows, with a small group of sweaty people who will become your only social interactions.
-You will work longer hours.
-You will spend all your waking hours on your feet.
-You will not cook gourmet dinners at home. You’ll be too tired, and too fed up of cooking.
– You will be the subject of abuse, whether physical or emotional. Officially, it will be as a test of character. In reality, it will be as a form of entertainment.
– You will end up spending so much time at work that your colleagues will know you better than your partner/family/friends do.
-You will meet and form strong bonds with types of people whom you’d previously never even have imagined sharing conversations with.
-there is a constant state of stress.
-You will never be irreplaceable and will be expected to constantly give 110%.
-You will not be allowed to call in sick for a hangover.
– You will be expected to place your work before any other part of your life in your list of priorities.
-Your hard work will go mostly unnoticed.
-You will be expected to treat your superiors as absolute masters.
-You will work for a bunch of assholes.
-It will become very difficult to watch friends cook.
-You will be expected to cook for family gatherings such as Christmas. Luckily, at least one year out of two, you will be working on Christmas.
-Holidays are not really holidays
-You will have to work many years in menial positions before attaining any level of authority in the workplace.
-The better the restaurant is, the longer the work hours become, the more pressure you end up under, the more unhealthy your lifestyle will become, the more likely you will be to develop a habit, the more competitive the people around you will become, the less sleep you’ll get, the less you’ll eat etc.
-You will constantly make mistakes, and every time you do make a mistake, someone will notice it and make you understand that you are clearly a subhuman because only a subhuman could make such a mistake.
-If you are a woman, you will constantly be the subject of misogynist remarks and jokes, sexual harassment, belittlement and remarks about your menstrual cycle.
-If you are a man, you will constantly be the subject of misogynist remarks and jokes, sexual harassment, belittlement and remarks about your menstrual cycle.
-None of your friends or family will understand what is involved in your work and you will never be able to make them understand.
-You will develop a creepy obsession with knives..
-If you are the right type of person, you will thank your lucky star every single day for the rest of your life for making you take the best decision you ever did and become a chef. And you will fall in love with your job and never look back.