Taking Sexy Back with Brothel Bertie aka Edward the VII

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On my way to the Mill of Kintail in Ontario last summer I knew I needed to take a picture of a sign that was erected in the middle of nowhere years ago. It has always fascinated me, and I often wonder who made the sign. Was it the neighbours, or might it have been the families of former British Loyalists that had hand crafted it? The sign says that in 1860, King Edward the VII knocked on the Metcalfe family’s door in Bennie’s Corners, Ontario. He was then was offered a cool drink from their spring “among the cedars”.  What do you do, or say, when the son of Queen Victoria knocks on your door?

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Knowing me, I would have first asked the King about his mistress, Alice Keppel, great grandmother to Prince Charles wife Camilla Parker Bowles. Rumour has it Camilla’s grandmother, Sonia Keppel, was actually the illegitimate daughter of King Edward VII. The apple does not fall from the tree does it?  Should I have asked him about his documented love chair? I swear I would have given him all the water and smiles he wanted to know about little piece of history.

The Queen and her ladies however, used to do charity things during the day like sewing shirts for the poor or working on their beloved tapestries. Much time was spent in prayer reading the Bible in the garden, banquets, dancing or anything that would keep the King happy. Some of the Kings routines however were not to be divulged to his or adoring female followers.
As I researched more about Edward I had many questions about his secret sexual habits and the well known love chair.

Unknown to a lot of history books after that trip to Bennie’s Corners Edward was secretly called “The Prince of Pleasure”. His royal highness routinely gave his mother Queen Victoria, a royal headache with his frequent trips to the Parisian brothels. They say he literally killed his father when dear old Dad found out what a “luster buster” he was.

Because, Bertie, as he was called in private, was quite overweight, he needed a little help with his routine daily love making. The love chair was especially made for him so he could have multiple encounters at the same time.

Apparently the chair is still in use somewhere in France by the family of the creator, and a copy of it is at the Prague Sex Museum. Word on the internet highway is, that you can also purchase your very own copy if you would like. Somewhere in the corner of the darkened seedy part of the web lies someone that wants to offer you this chair for your routine sex habits.

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I have seen a lot of erotic things in my life but this chair boggles my mind.
Who did what, where, and how? Ideas, anyone? Was it caused by the water at Bennie’s Corners?

Edward also had private bathtub in the brothel called Le Chabanais in France. It was a huge copper bath usually filled with champagne in the design of a half woman and half swan. King Edward bubble bathed his life away daily with his “lovelies” including Winston Churchill’s mother. Dirty Bertie’s tub was eventually purchased by Salvador Dali in 1951 for his daily wash ups from all that painting.

20121211-191236Seeing my great great grandmother Louise Knight was a lady in waiting for Queen Victoria, I shudder to think if she was involved in any of these routine court-side extravaganzas.

Louise was eventually kicked out for having “loose skirts” around the court. But, how “loose” were they? My grandparents had a good idea and never shared; but I am the first to admit that her skirts probably were routinely up around her neck. Or maybe she was just” let go” for bad technical support on certain furniture for her daily “mopping” and “royal welcomes”.

God save the King and someone needs to bottle that water at Bennie’s Corners!

From my friend John Morrow with great thanks

Meow! Check your facts on this. King Edward apparently didn’t meet Alice Keppel until almost 40 years after his trip to Canada according to Wikipedia. Another apocryphal story connected with this concerns the Metcalfe family’s son, Dr. Archibald Albert Metcalfe, later Mayor of Almonte and the man responsible for Almonte’s hydro-electric generating plant. Dr. Metcalfe was actually born 3 Nov 1869, but in his later years claimed he was born within a few days of the prince’s visit and was given the middle name Albert in honour of the occasion. Dr. Metcalfe died in 1962, claiming to be 101, but was actually 92 at the time.

About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

2 responses »

  1. Meow! Check your facts on this. King Edward apparently didn’t meet Alice Keppel until almost 40 years after his trip to Canada according to Wikipedia. Another apocryphal story connected with this concerns the Metcalfe family’s son, Dr. Archibald Albert Metcalfe, later Mayor of Almonte and the man responsible for Almonte’s hydro-electric generating plant. Dr. Metcalfe was actually born 3 Nov 1869, but in his later years claimed he was born within a few days of the prince’s visit and was given the middle name Albert in honour of the occasion. Dr. Metcalfe died in 1962, claiming to be 101, but was actually 92 at the time.

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