No Country for Old Bridesmaids Dresses!



Once upon a time when my late sister decided to get married the scary question came up that a lot of women dread.

“Would I be her Maid of Honour” she asked?

Having had a rocky relationship for many years with her due to my father, I really wanted to do this to mend fences. She told me to pick out a few ideas and we would go over them.

Not being a conservative dresser, I was very careful to pick out a simple dress so as not to aggravate anyone. After a long discussion we both agreed on a satin sleeveless dress with a matching shawl. She was pleased and I was relieved, so I bought the fabric to make the dress.

One month before the wedding a family member put in her 4.5 cents and decided the bridesmaids should be sporting yellow floral hippie dresses. She also insisted that I had to wear the same dress and a loud argument began.

I have natural blonde hair, glow in the dark alabaster skin, and yellow is not flattering on me. I asked my sister if there was any possibility of changing the dress since they had changed the bridesmaid dresses many times.

If I could now change what happened after that phone call I would in a split second. Linda would have stayed quiet, wore the darn dress and ripped it off as soon as she could. But because the family member only tolerated me because of my father, WWIII began. I told my sister I should have some say and she suddenly became silent on the phone.  In a rage I told her with some choice words that I regret to this day. How awful was that? I am cringing while I write this.

That began the two years of silence with my family that did not end until my father became terminally ill. I have hit myself on the head over my decision to this day. When I got married I let my sister and my best friend Sheila wear what they wanted. Sheila reciprocated, when she got married allowing me do the same thing.

I have seen families almost kill each other over weddings. Former brides that shopped in my store used to argue with their bridesmaids all the time.  The brides were always assuring their bridal party that they would be able to wear their dresses after the wedding. How many ads do you see for used bridesmaid’s dresses in the classifieds?  Someone could really profit from creating a landfill site for those darn dresses and the ugly Christmas sweaters.

Jean Paul Gaultier once said,

“It’s always the badly dressed people who are the most interesting.”

If that’s the case, then bridesmaids must be the most interesting people in the whole world – hands down!



The Mint Julep Special

   Swedish Meatballs

Styled by the Captain and Tenile

The sisters of Anne Boleyn

 Dresses by the Jolly Green Giant

Hole in one!

Vera Wang once said the vocabulary of a wedding was more than the day or the dress. It is a metaphor of women’s lives and their creativity. I must agree after seeing these dresses that creativity was running rampant in some of these choices. It was nothing but a wild white wedding day.





James Lorne Prentice and
Kate Molyneaux wedding,
1905 in Hopetown, Ontario.


About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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