Google the Poodle and the Groomer


Google, the Standard Poodle emailed me last week and wondered if I wanted the lowdown on his upcoming grooming appointment. Since the horrendous winter was over, he thought it was time for a new look. After consulting with “his people”, Gayle and Ted MacDonald, we agreed to meet at Diana’s Pet Grooming. At first he wasn’t sure what her location was, as her postal code is Almonte, her phone number is Carleton Place, yet she lives in Appleton.

With all that confusion over, I made my way in a snow squall to Diana’s location. When I got there Google hadn’t showed up yet, so I had a chance to have a nice chat with Diana. I wanted to make sure she was as good as Google said. Would she make him more regal than he claimed he already was? One can never be too careful what you hear from a poodle these days–you just have to get the information first hand. Poodle gossip is just plain notorious!

Diana began her journey grooming pets when she was but a young lass looking after her parent’s dogs. Her father owned a gas station in Cochrane, Ontario, and one single night defined her journey as a professional groomer. A station wagon showed up with a family and all their belongings in tow. They didn’t have money for gas, and her Dad wasn’t quite sure what to do about the situation. Out of the car window a pair of hands handed him a tiny poodle in exchange for some gas. From that day on Diana groomed that poodle until her mother discovered she had turned the new family pet into a circus poodle. With that her Mother marched her and the dog down to the local groomers, and she began interning on weekends so no other dog would look like a fancy dog from the Ed Sullivan Show ever again.

Google had told me that Diana had great patience with dogs, and had even calmly weathered a horrible experience at a local animal hospital. It seems the groomer had gently placed a tiny Lhasa Apso’s head in the head noose to hold her steady. That little wee dog made an impression on Diana for the rest of her life. The dog grabbed on to her wrist with his teeth and held firm. There was no way he was letting go. So Diana had the vet sedate the dog who was still hanging on to her wrist. It was only after the dog was sedated that the dog’s toothy grip broke free.

The “Standard” almost “Regal” Poodle also told me that Diana has no favourites, no matter how he has tried to suck up. Some say “thank you” to her, and some say,”I want to get the heck out!” But they eventually learn the grooming routine, and she loves them all.

It was at that very point that Google showed up. I was already warned he was a french kisser, and leans against you with the intent of a notorious low talker. He was supposed to weigh 60 pounds, but actually comes in at a “lapdog” weight of 80. He really has no preference with “his people”, but makes sure at least one of them knows the world does indeed revolve around him. After all this Poodle has “Standards” and that’s why Diana is his groomer.

Before we left, he told me I had to meet Roxy the Poi. This small dog was rescued off the streets of Hawaii, and there is no doubt he hit the lottery when Diana found him. Instead of bringing home souvenirs and a Hawaiian shirt, Diana gave him a new home in Canada.

When we left Google reminded me that Poodles rule the world. After all, what is really left in life some days? That’s right caffeine and a poodle.


Diana’s Pet Grooming

Distributor of Raw Dog Food

Aids Shelley Dickie’s Cat and Kitten rescue when she can Cause 4 Paws

Carleton Place- The Happiest Damn Town in Lanark County

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Tilting the Kilt, Vintage Whispers from Carleton Place by Linda Seccaspina is available at Wisteria at 62 Bridge Street, the Carleton Place Beckwith Museum in Carleton Place, Ontario and The Mississippi Valley Textile Mill in Almonte.  available on all Amazon sites (Canada, US, Europe) and Barnes and Noble

About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

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