The Emotional Crowded Houses– St. James

Standard

The Emotional Crowded Houses

Three other stories about St James in the book “The Tilted Kilt”

This is from my book “Cancer Calls Collect”

Pushing the large doors open I felt rivers of emotions fill my inner soul. I shouldn’t be here I thought to myself, as I knew I was setting myself up. I sat in one of the pews, stared at the stained glass windows, and tried to hold back my tears. People were going to wonder why I was back in town so soon, and I had yet to tell anyone what was really going on. For days I had spoke of family emergencies and real estate deals to those that asked, but I kept the truth inside my heart. I knew he didn’t want the whole world to know his deadly secret, and I respected that.

I glanced through the hymn book and was thankful it wasn’t Sunday with organ music attempting to pull more tears out of me than what I was presently trying to hide. Not wanting anyone to see the distress I was in I kept to myself, and looked at no one. I knew the time was coming when I would have to release the inner sadness, but I just didn’t want it to be today.

As people came in they stared at me, and I had a feeling some knew my secret but were too kind to ask. Time seemed to move by at a snails pace, and I kept lowering my head so no one would see my tear-stained face. Taking deep breaths didn’t help, and I wanted to sob for a very long time. When I finally pulled myself together it was time to meet and greet. Someone I had known for years asked me point blank why I was back. The world began to spin, and I could no longer hold it in and I looked at her and said quietly.

“He has stage 4 cancer.”

Arms curled around me as I cried, and they all enveloped me with a fog of love and compassion. An older woman slipped a small good luck stone from Ireland into my pocket and told me to keep it near always. As I put it in my pocket they said in unison,

“You’ve come to the right place!”
But had I? Could these people take away my fear and sadness and give him back his life? Where had they been during my other pivotal points of darkness? As I watched the last breath leave my sister’s body years ago I remembered having to ask everyone to leave to give her peace for her last moments. Yes, we need helping hands to aid us in our time of need, but in the end we have to learn to accept and deal with the inevitable all by ourselves because there will always be battles ahead.

“It doesn’t matter to me what you believe in- it’s what gets you by.”- Linda Seccaspina

Photo by Linda Seccaspina of St. James Anglican Church, Carleton Place, ON

Advertisements

About lindaseccaspina

Linda Knight Seccaspina was born in Cowansville, Quebec about the same time as the wheel was invented and the first time she realized she could tell a tale was when she got caught passing her smutty stories around in Grade 7 at CHS by Mrs. Blinn. When Derek "Wheels" Wheeler from Degrassi Jr. High died in 2010, Linda wrote her own obituary. Some people said she should think about a career in writing obituaries. Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa from 1976-1996. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off she finally found her calling. Is it sex drugs and rock n' roll you might ask? No, it is history. Seeing that her very first boyfriend in Grade 5 (who she won a Twist contest with in the 60s) is the head of the Brome Misissiquoi Historical Society and also specializes in local history back in Quebec, she finds that quite funny. She writes every single day and is also a columnist for Hometown News and Screamin's Mamas. She is a volunteer for the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum, an admin for the Lanark County Genealogical Society Facebook page, and a local guest speaker. She has been now labelled an historian by the locals which in her mind is wrong. You see she will never be like the iconic local Lanark County historian Howard Morton Brown, nor like famed local writer Mary Cook. She proudly calls herself The National Enquirer Historical writer of Lanark County, and that she can live with. Linda has been called the most stubborn woman in Lanark County, and has requested her ashes to be distributed in any Casino parking lot as close to any Wheel of Fortune machine as you can get. But since she wrote her obituary, most people assume she's already dead. Linda has published six books, "Menopausal Woman From the Corn," "Cowansville High Misremembered," "Naked Yoga, Twinkies and Celebrities," "Cancer Calls Collect," "The Tilted Kilt-Vintage Whispers of Carleton Place," and "Flashbacks of Little Miss Flash Cadilac." All are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Linda's books are for sale on Amazon or at Wisteria · 62 Bridge Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada, and at the Carleton Place and Beckwith Heritage Museum · 267 Edmund Street · Carleton Place, Ottawa, Canada--Appleton Museum-Mississippi Textile Mill and Mill Street Books and Heritage House Museum and The Artists Loft in Smith Falls.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s