Fear The Shamrock Shake!


This is a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake

photo-Googe/Huffington Post

This is Soylent Green


The McDonald’s Shamrock Shake you ingested on St. Patrick’s Day did not have shamrocks nor free-range, cage-free leprechauns. But, this is no longer your Father’s Shamrock Shake!

What’s really in a Shamrock Shake?

Of the 54 ingredients:

Sugar appears 4 times, cream twice, water three times, corn syrup 4 times, High fructose corn syrup three times. The whipping propellant ( nitrous oxide) should not even be considered a factor as far as nutritional or caloric consideration as it has no ability to remain in the body or bloodstream longer than a few seconds, but let’s not forget citric acid was in there twice. There are real chemicals in that thing-not food substances. Real food doesn’t come from laboratory vats in New Jersey!

McTruly McBarfy!
I am not trying to be a fear-monger as this is just fact-based ingredients. You are basically eating high fructose corn syrup with dye. What did you think would be in a Shamrock Shake? It’s McDonald’s, for petes sake! Of course please do give us the rundown on a quart of Hagen Daz sometime too, will you?

Real shamrocks could not be used as they are one of the main ingredients in many laxatives and consumed in high volume can cause abdominal distress, peptic ulcers, diverticulitis, severe reflux (GERD) and a myriad of other digestive problems. Not sure which is worse though – actual shamrocks or the shake.  And they said assisted suicide was illegal in the US and Canada!
Since I lack the necessary carcinogenic agents to make an exact copy, I will blend all the ingredients and then have my neighbor blow the smoke from a couple of her cigarettes into my shake to make it as close to the original recipe as possible!  Mayor Bloomberg won’t allow New Yorkers to have a large soda but you can get as many toxin filled Shamrock Shakesas you want!

We now live in a world of chemical shakes and foods and what would have surprised me, would have been to read that the shake was made with all natural, wholesome ingredients, but lets be honest how many saw that coming? I guess it’s like hot dogs. If you saw what went into them you would never eat them, but once every few months probably won’t kill you.

Not exactly better living through chemistry!
Please note that no Leprechauns were harmed in the making of these shakes.

31 second video will have you in stitches


The Humm has one of my stories in their March newspaper and online



About lindaseccaspina

Before she laid her fingers to a keyboard, Linda was a fashion designer, and then owned the eclectic store Flash Cadilac and Savannah Devilles in Ottawa on Rideau Street from 1976-1996. She also did clothing for various media and worked on “You Can’t do that on Television”. After writing for years about things that she cared about or pissed her off on American media she finally found her calling. She is a weekly columnist for the Sherbrooke Record and documents history every single day and has over 6500 blogs about Lanark County and Ottawa and an enormous weekly readership. Linda has published six books and is in her 4th year as a town councillor for Carleton Place. She believes in community and promoting business owners because she believes she can, so she does.

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